Last (Unfinished) Drawing in 2017 ― After Millart (Mastercopy)

The last 3 months of 2017 had been pretty depressing due to the fact that I was so looking forward of going home only to be ignored by the people who are responsible for my visa. It was something I dreaded and it became the means for my depression to take over my mind and body. Needless to say, I stopped drawing little by little until I can no longer bear holding a pencil for a minute or two.

This mastercopy after Millart is the last unfinished drawing I did in 2017. I wanted to finish this one with all my heart, but I ended up preoccupied with other things, i.e. writing different topics for steemit more than drawing in real life. I question my priorities and I always end up justifying my actions ― I am working hard here so I will have the means to go to school next year.

Until it dawned to me that I am no longer drawing. How about my practice? How about my long-term goal as an artist? Things kept on piling up until I broke down, crying so hard first day of 2018. I was too focused in the monetary aspect (means to go to school) that I forgot to work and practice which is much more important that the money I'll be getting out of Steemit. I mean, don't get me wrong, I really need money right now because aside from my Atelier goal, I am also helping my family back home through blogging.

Discouraging news kept on coming until I received a newsletter yesterday from Academy of Realist Art Boston about their yearly Scholarship for new students. I contemplated and contemplated a lot. I want to join but at the same time I am so scared of rejections; one of the reasons why I failed at school.

Upon receiving the news, I knew in my heart that I want to try. I asked my good friends about my thought of joining and they are just as excited and happy as I am. I even asked Noah Olsen who is currently a student at ARA, and he said I should definitely go for it.

It'll be a roller-coaster ride for the next 2 months. I need to be wise with my time and my priorities. I have so many things I want to accomplish this year, but I know in the end it's going to be my art and my growth as an artist. Hopefully I will be able to draw more and post more.