The prompt was: What do you think of when you hear the word “monster?”
My monster is called Tinnitus.
Tinnitus is a disorder that causes a 24/7 beeping, hissing or ringing in the ears. It never stops and it’s not curable.
Mine is a humming sound and it’s present day and night and continuously disturbs my concentration.
Until now I can mask it with other sounds like radio, running water, a ventilator or wearing a loudly purring cat on top of my head. But at night I’m worried if the volume will increase in the future. If this gets worse, how can I still mask it?
My only available weapon is my mantra: Don’t feed the troll, because it grows on attention.
Update of 2 years later:
It still there. The volume didn't change and there is still no cure.
But guess what?!
It doesn't bother me anymore.
During the time I created this drawing I could NOT imagine man could get used to it. Everybody thinks he is that particular 'special case' that finally have to kill himself to get rid of it. Yes, there are sufferers out there who asked for euthanasia. And yes, in the Netherlands I know at least 1 case that was granted.
There has been some big changes in my life that has helped. The biggest one is I moved from a silent suburb of a small rural town to a busy centre of a city. In the beginning I LOVED the eternal sound of passing traffic, people, the heavy coal trains. I still do, but even if we are out of town, my attention to my inner sound is completely 'reset'. Like it has become transparent and the normal sounds more easily are coming through.
It turned out I was just like the other 95% of the tinnitians !
At some point life goes on.