Reflections on Chaos and Creativity

Lately, the feels are out of control. It makes me irrational one minute and then the next, I am hella motivated. After a cycle of this, manic and depressed, ups and downs, eventually there is this next cycle and it is all I can do to get out of bed.

There are few staples, or rather, points of stabilization right now and so I generally don't sleep and it's just me and my pen after 2 or 3 in the morning. I used to write poetry but even that is hit and miss. I have always been insecure about my art though and so I didn't bother to do that until relatively recently... It has been a thing for the last year or so.

I figure, while it lasts, I might as well enjoy it.

Here are some first draft drawings I have done lately.

The Bedroom

This one, the bedroom scene, it took me about 45 minutes to draw. I don't know who's bedroom or where it is. It just sort of came out while I was drawing.

I often draw in a trancelike state. I don't usually know what it is that I am making until it is close to formed and then my conscious brain will take over and add the details.

The Trifecta

This is completely unedited, a face and then another. I like to think there is one more and this is the creepy Njorn or something. I am not sure yet. I haven't been motivated to draw any more on this one either. So, maybe we will never know?

I think that in this one, there are some interesting shapes and it seems like either ideas or something is coming up and out through their heads. I am not sure what they are but I have been obsessed with drawing things bursting from the head as of late.

Spiritually, I have had quite a number of dreams and esoteric kinds of thoughts as of late. This is an image of a drawing that I drew a while ago. I actually ended up doing too much on top of it, so this is the only copy that I have of it. I wanted to include it in the sketches because this is the last copy. It is also one of my more favored pieces. I really liked it.

Meme in Progress

So zen, so calm... yet still flipping you off. I don't know, this one entertains me. I have been working on making it into a meme. I have been working on a lot of things as of late as it is and it doesn't seem to be letting up.

I need to let this schedule go and just go with the flow. I am working on this. It's not as easy as it looks.

It is a Process

More than just sketching, I am able to allow myself to drift off while I am doodling most of these images. The ability to get out of my own head is needed, as most of us know. Sometimes there is peace in a simple line. Sometimes the best art comes from the mind that thinks about it the least. You never know what you are capable of once you let go of reservations. I find that now, I can even draw half-decent intentional drawings, when I have something that I want to draw out.

I find that I end up drawing out things going on in my life. Even when I don't intend, i can find some representation of what is going on in my dream time or in the mundane and find a corrolation in the art that I have been creating. It's an interesting process, that is for sure.