I don’t know you but I always used to talk down to myself, saying stuff like – You can’t do that – or – Nobody will like it, Why bother? –
It certainly took a long time to overcome that obsessive negative self talk. It was specially hard given that because I wanted to be an artist, I had very little self esteem and thought that my simple illustrations and writing would make people laugh at me. I thought in order to make a connection I needed to be a sophisticated illustrator and an essayist or something. And believe me, I tried being that someone who wasn’t me… and it didn’t go well as you can imagine.
The day that turned my life around
That day was pretty much like today, it could have been any day. Except for the fact that it was this particular moment in time, when I looked myself at the mirror and said – NO MORE – I noticed something interesting, I was in my mid twenties… and I haven’t done anything. So mi mind started to wonder… Maybe all of this that I’m continually saying to myself is true, maybe there’s no room in the world of professional art for what I do, maybe people will laugh at me for even trying… But saying this is making me not take action, is keeping me scared and quiet. All my artist friends are putting themselves out there… They are at least trying, I’m not, and then I wonder why nothing happen.
I came to the realisation that day, that maybe is not about whether what you say to yourself is true or not. Sometimes what matters is if that thought is useful or not. In my case, I knew I wanted to be an artist, and that particular inner dialogue was certainly not helping. So I did something I had never before have been able to do… I let it go… Just like that. And started building a new set of beliefs and thoughts that would help me achieve what I’m after.
Developing the right mentality
My strategy for doing this, once I clear the ground of my old paradigm of thinking was what I call “the cheerleader mentality”. And this is pretty much what it sounds like, every time I attempt something I’m cheering in my head.
– You can do it! – Keep going! – Don’t give up! – You are almost there! –
This is what I tell myself, in short is about becoming your own “best fan” is about loving every single thing that you do, just because it’s you the one who’s doing it. It sounds so simple and yet you won’t believe the power it has. Look at me here posting my artwork (something I’ve always dreaded and a lot of more experienced, more creative and overall better artist can’t help themselves to do) in a website that I created and manage (something I learnt from scratch this year). Don’t disregard this advice just because it seems silly or simple, and don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s easy, it is not. Once a certain thought pattern is set is extremely difficult to change, and that voice in your head that doubts you will always be there, it won’t go away. But in every chance you get you must not give it a second more of your attention and instead feed the side that’s cheering for you. It might be very difficult at first but, like everything, like playing music, learning to draw, ride a bike, or anything!… It does get easier with time. So don’t give up, keep at it, and sooner than you think you’ll start to rip the rewards.
Some specific advice
Here is some things I do to increase my motivating self talk:
I visualise what I’m after
if it’s before performing music, I see myself playing well, totally into what I’m doing, in “the zone” and everybody else cheering and clapping, singing along. If it’s with drawing, I imagine the peoples reaction, and see that I’m able to get to them and create the connection.
I tell myself that I love who I am daily
This only takes a second but it builds up rather quickly into something amazing.
I have a sign on my wall and try to write what I like and admire about myself.
For instance I love my determination, my motivation, my sense of humour and the fact that I’m not afraid to be myself 🙂
In closing
To sum up, the things we tell ourselves are of great importance if this post helps for nothing other than to make you pay closer attention to your inner dialogue, then I consider it a success. If it motivates you to start improving your private conversation with yourself then I’ll be delighted. So I hope this give you some ideas you can start implementing now. Please tell me what you think, or if you tried it and found some results. If you have other good suggestions for improving self talk I would love to hear them 🙂
Also, if you enjoy this content please don’t forget to like it and/or share it with anyone that you think might find it useful or entertaining. This little things add up to a big difference and help for the site moving forward so it is MASSIVELY appreciated 🙂
And as always, Keep Imagining… and Keep Loving!