I'm sort of at breaking point right now.
Long story short: I have always worked my ass off to support myself since I was 16. At one point I used to work 2 jobs, 16 hours a day, and I managed just fine. As most of you know, the rape and subsequent court proceedings pretty much ruined my life. I am slowly building myself up, after 3 long years, but right now, I can barely manage 6 hours a week at my work without having a major breakdown at home. I hate that I'm no longer the person I used to be. That my anxiety and depression take away my ability to function like a normal human being. So, for the first time in my life, I'm reaching out. My anxiety keeps telling me that I'm worthless and no-one will listen, but hey, it's worth a shot.
I'm on the verge of losing my job. They have been supportive of my illness since the day I was attacked, but there are only so many warnings they can give me for taking sick days. Last month, they cut $900 from my wage because of my February sick days, leaving me with practically nothing. I thought I could manage and that I can still survive on what I have. I'm fortunate I live with my dad again and he helps where he can, but I can no longer accept his disability allowance. He needs it. So after weeks and weeks of thinking about this, I opened a Patreon.
My dream has always been to write full time. I CAN'T work outside my home anymore. I've tried for 3 years and almost every day I'm on the verge of tears or breakdowns. I have to spend hours in the morning preparing myself to go to work for a few hours, only to return lost in my bubble of depression, sort of on autopilot mode again. I have never, ever talked about myself like this. I guess I feel ashamed about it when so many others are struggling in our world and am so used to family members telling me they've had it worse. I've now learned to suppress everything. But I know I have an amazing support network here, so I'm doing something that downright terrifies me, in the hope to continue my writing career.
Before my work dismisses me, I want to hand in my resignation. So that I can write full time, bring my readers more stories on a regular basis, I need your support on Patreon. I can't even begin to express how much you'd help me, not only to live my dream but to focus on what I love to do and keep myself sane: write. I'm an artist who craves to turn paper into magic, and all I ask is that you take a look at my Patreon and help to support my passion. There are tons of benefits for patrons who pledge support, including freebies and exclusive book content. Your support would help me continue writing until I make enough off my books to sustain myself.
If you can find it in yourself to help a starving, potentially jobless artist, then please check out my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/katzesnow
