I've been playing detective with my thoughts. Have you ever investigated the origin of your thoughts? What I've found is that my thoughts are a result of previous manufacturing. What do I mean by manufacturing. I mean, my thoughts are a product of energy I created within my body as an outflow of specific moments where I formed a particular impression about something. It's like, Stamped it....Called it....Defined it....Separated myself from it within the judgement of my impression.
It's been an interesting investigation of sorts because there can be many moments throughout the day where things seem to randomly pop up in your mind and you just kind of brush it off, like it was nothing and just move on with your day. That's a pretty typical response. What I've been questioning is - these very seemingly 'nothing blips' of thought that come up and out almost randomly throughout my day.
What I'm realizing is that it's important for me to identify specifics here - like, what energy emotion/feeling do I associate with this random thought?
In my investigations thus far I've identified 3 really subtle undercurrents that I'm realizing have been like exhausting in a way...yet such a subtle beginning that it's been such a point I've been oblivious too because the accumulation build up starts so gentle and passively in a way.
A word I've come to use to define the overall experience in working with these subtle and seemingly random thoughts that pop up is: Underbelly. The seemingly random bits of thought are not random at all in fact. It's deep suppressed points from the underbelly of my gut as unsorted, unsettled emotions within myself.
Sadness, Sorrow, and Irritation.
The three things is like the story line from a random subtle undercurrent thought....where first it pops up as something that there's a sadness about like I never fully embraced in myself (most predominant is in past relationships that didn't work out...like so subtle like I wouldn't even catch the sadness initially. In fact I would just react to it. And that would be me going into this sorrow. And that is where the energy would start to accumulate in me where it's like there's this point of soreness and stiffness...almost like a rigidity into my body and I become a little more tense...like into a minor state of stress and strain.....and then from here would go to an Irritation.
Also - I've noticed that when I go into a drifting off experience within my mind - it's like there's this stress and strain in my eyes in my face. It's like if I just look at shit in my mind but don't practically direct or clarify the point within myself there's a stress and strain in my face. It's like when I'm in that experience I don't even realize there's this limitation in even opening my eyes the whole way. It's like there's this forced squint almost in looking at my shit within myself and it being a bit intense and just kind of staring/gazing into my own fire....very much like if you were to have your face close to a blazing hot camp fire...it's like this experience and facial move where your almost turning away but not fully.
So in my next post I'm going to continue on in writing this out for myself.
I don't hear a lot of people talk about such things. And the general rhetoric I do hear is mostly that of one who is simply coping with the same point - where the most common response is, "just don't pay attention to it....just drop it....it's not important.....if you give attention to it....it will grow."
"if you give attention to it....it will grow"
Yes - I am growing my awareness of myself here in body, being and mind.
It's a journey into the unknown.
I think it's all to common that we mostly don't understand how we function as humans. Obviously there's a lot of dimensions to this - but with all the resources and tools available it makes a lot of sense that over time a consensus is developed as a result of much creative collaboration in sharing perspective.
I'm pretty sure our awareness and understanding is a matter of our openness and willingness to learn. The willingness to move on from our mistakes and exercise our new lessons learned as our self-enabled response abilities.
*TO BE CONTINUED
For me this is a real eye opener into the extent in which our best response ability can be compromised within imprinted mind programming from years earlier.
My Body is precious and I've decided to care for it. Creating responsibility for my sculpture - my life.
The World is One Class of Players - Class is Always in Session
CHEERS TO EXTRAORDINARY GAINS OF STRENGTH IN ALL WAYS POSSIBLE THROUGHOUT 2018
Decentralized Media Broadcasting is the Future - Sharing Because You Want to
FREE - UNIVERSAL BASIC INCOME - WEEKLY CRYPTOCURRENCY PAYOUT
- What I like about this social experiment, is the fact that it's success is directly dependent on ordinary people everywhere - where there's a willingness to say,
"Yes - I accept a weekly payment for being a human being to cover my basic costs of Existing Here."
