that was great twist.
I enjoyed the story, but I hope you wouldn't mind if I said I think I would have enjoyed it more if you had formatted it differently.
I imagine it strung out in single lines with a lot of spaces, to make people slow down and be in each part more, and the final shock may well be amplified.
I haven't seen of lot of criticism here, and that's great, but you know I mean what I am saying here as constructive criticism.
Writing is only half words, the other half is space, and on the internet more, and space is free here.
Take that space and give the reader space and you are bound for greatness.
or something like that.
If you would rather not have me do this here, just let me know. Reply to this with the word stop, as the bots say.
But great work and congrats and keep going and big hugs and I'll be seeing ya
RE: Entry for artexplosion contest run by @juliakponsford