“You thinkin’ about her again?” the young woman sitting down next to me asked as she sipped on a glass of cider. I could feel her emerald gaze resting on my cheek.
I couldn’t conjure up enough will or courage to look at her, for it was true, and I felt awful with that reality. Suddenly I was staring down into a cup of sloshing amber and I looked at the mug before me, her brews usually strong, only to push it away in dismissal.
“You know I don’t drink.”
“You’re right, slipped my mind,” she replied with a defeated sigh and slouched back against the couch.
As we fell into silence, I focused in on the crackling sound of the fire in the hearth. I always enjoyed the warmth of a natural fire. The smell of the burning timber was soothing and made me feel at ease. I could sense her still looking at me, but my gaze remained transfixed on the flickering flames across the room.
I always enjoyed Rose’s company especially on nights like this when I couldn’t bare to be alone. She didn’t always hang around in the evening, usually preferring her own space, but I think she sensed my wallowing.
It had been a month since I had left that place, yet it still haunted me as if I could turn around and step right back in. But the Otherworld had shut its doors on me. They didn’t want me; I had the mark to prove it.
Maeve didn’t want me; she made that very clear. Could I blame the Cosmos for this? After everything I had done, they were right to call me a fool. I always loved stirring up the chaos, but I only had good intentions.
If only Maeve could have seen that…
Had that been wasted time? Was that experience even worth it if it caused me so much heartache? You would think losing your home would be the worst thing in the entire Multiverse, but I had built a home in her. I didn’t need the Otherworld anymore.
I shouldn’t have lied to her. I should have been open with her from the start, but what would these lessons do now if I couldn’t see her? How could I truly learn from my mistakes if I couldn’t make it better? I knew I had stolen a precious season of her life and for that, she’d never let me forget. She could brush me under the rug so easily, yet she was a dark crimson stain on my heart that couldn’t be scrubbed away no matter how hard I tried.
I was always going to be a burden. Here I was crashing on Rose’s couch in her already small cabin. She was more than kind; I told her I would leave after a week, but she refused to let me do that.
“And where else would you go?” she had demanded of me, knocking me back to reality.
She reassured me time and time again that I was welcome here, yet even after five weeks I couldn’t help but feel like a drag on the entire time-space continuum.
“I could take those memories away,” Rose’s soft voice chimed, pulling me from my thoughts, “just temporarily.”
“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow and looked at her challengingly, but when our eyes met my heart jumped into my throat.
My ears became as hot as the sun, yet I didn’t know why; I wasn’t one to blush. It’s not as if I was ever shy around Rose; yea, sure, we slept together the first night we met, but that’s all it had been. Just a nice experience. Against a tree. A curious intrigue. It never happened again.
“I know what you’re thinking, but that’s not what I meant. I mean, I’m not opposed either,” she laughed awkwardly and hid her face in her mug; that cider must have been exceptionally strong tonight, “But what I meant is I know a spell.”
“Oh!” I snickered, trying to hide my humiliation; my entire body felt as if it had been thrown into a barbeque pit.
“Do you remember how we met?”
The randomness of the question threw me, and I tilted my head.
“You asked me some terribly cliché question about elves after ritual.”
She laughed and scratched the back of her head.
“I just wanted to talk to you. I didn’t know how. It’s not every day you see an elf walking around this realm so casually.”
“It’s not every day that someone sees through my cloak,” I said, furrowing my brow at the memory.
I turned my body towards her, backing myself up against the arm of the couch, and brought my legs up to my chest to wrap my arms around them like a shield. I watched as she took another drink, her eyes glowing with the reflection of the flames as she gazed forward, away from me.
“We’re not so scary, now are we?”
“You’re elusive,” she paused, “That’s scary.”
“I’m elusive?” I challenged, “You’re the one who lives on some vast forested mountain in a cabin away from the entire world.”
“Fair enough,” she said with a shrug.
It was monotone, not seeming interested to discuss herself. Our peculiar, customary relationship we had was so curious. I honestly didn’t know much about this enigmatic woman before me, yet I felt I could trust her with my life; probably a reason I hadn’t left this place yet in search of more stimulation. Or maybe I was burnt out. Maybe I didn’t need anymore wild adventures for a while.
Slowly, I extended one of my legs outward as if to stretch and placed my foot against her warm thigh. She flinched ever so slightly, and a grin cracked at the corner of my lips.
“I knew you were after me from the start.”
She nearly choked on her drink, “Was it that obvious?”
I gave a warm laugh and replied, “You tried to hide it, but I saw through your veil every time. You witches think your so clever.”
Our eyes met and I raised an eyebrow challengingly.
Breaking our gaze, she sat upward to set her mug down on the table before changing direction swiftly to lean over me. My breath caught in my throat as my knee’s defense crumbled downward. I curiously found my hand resting on her chest, almost as if to push her away, but instead I focused on the organ beneath beating vigorously with life. It was my anchor in this moment to distract me from my own lunacy as her face hovered just inches from mine.
“You talk about seeing through my veil,” she spoke with poise and leaned down by my ear to whisper softly, “but your aura is going wild right now.”
“Fuck you and your wild eyes,” I barely breathed, a drum pounding away in my ears, the reverberation threatening to burst from my chest.
I could feel her laugh against me, her breath warm and comforting. It was then that I was truly taken by surprise when I felt a soft, warm touch of lips against my neck, just once, but enough to adrenalize my entire being. My hand on her chest gripped and lightly dug nails in, grabbing at soft fabric.
“Can you make me forget?” I asked, almost like a plead, almost ashamed for asking yet unwilling to let the question burn me inside any longer. Our eyes met once more and suddenly I felt lost within the dense green forest before me.
“All you had to do was ask.”
My fingers drifted upward to touch her jawbone, her chin. I landed on her bottom lip, gently, as if afraid I might break their fragile shape. Slowness. That wasn’t my thing, yet I was terrified to move any faster. Afraid I might scare away this wild creature. Afraid of losing yet another thing dear to me.
Yes… She was dear to me. I hadn’t known her for that long yet every time our paths would cross, life would be illuminated for just a moment in ways I never imagined. For just a moment, the veil would be lifted, and I didn’t have to pretend to be someone else.
“I want to kiss you,” I whispered as if we were hiding from something.
“Then why don’t you?” She retorted, smirking at me, yet remaining still.
That was a fair question and one I didn’t have a straightforward answer to. I could, so easily, yet I knew myself well. I couldn’t let this become my new obsession; just to be her fascination. She was only being nice letting me stay here. She was only giving me company because she felt I needed it.
At least these were the stories getting inked into my mind. Did it even matter? Opportunities should be taken when they arise or else, they may never spring again, but I was certainly terrified and I didn’t know how to explain that, even to myself.
Out of all the things I had done in this world, and the others, why was I so afraid to kiss her?
“This is why you intrigue me so much,” Rose said softly, cupping my face with a hand, “You’re always running.”
I wanted to argue, but that would spoil the moment. Was she lying, though? Maybe this is why I was afraid. Because she could see right through my defenses.
“Why don’t you stop running for a moment and just feel? You only see to spot the dangers so you can retreat to safety, but I want you to take a chance and stop running. Even if it means you’ll be prey.”
Any animal who stopped when being chased would be devoured if it were weak enough, but given enough strength, could combat its predator. Maybe that’s what she was trying to say. Was I strong enough to stay? Strong enough to take a chance and pounce?
It had to be done. I had to make a choice. Courage is being afraid but acting anyways.
Summoning all the strength I had, I broke through the vines that squeezed around my heart, despite the agonizing scream of the thorns tearing through. I hastily dove forward, smashing my lips into hers as our teeth collided angrily. It was clumsy and she fell backward with the shift of weight, but as she did, her hand found my shirt and pulled me along with her, laughing against me.
This felt different. I didn’t feel a desire to race to a finish line. A need to kill an itch. I kissed her again and this time it was slower. There was a melding of our bodies into one as her hands found their resting place on my hips. A sudden pop in the fire hit our ears, and I felt her jump, her grip growing firm. My mind disappeared into a cloud as I pressed my weight into her, breathing in every gasp.
I've been trying to get back into fictional writing; I used to spend much of my time writing endlessly, especially for fanfiction. Writing makes me feel alive. I'm in control.
I don't know how far I'll go with this story, but I have an entire backstory in place. I hope you enjoyed the read and the art. The art piece is in progress and I plan to release an updated version with an addition to this story. I think this idea has a lot of potential.
What do you think?
Amethyst