This short film has been brewing within the depths of my mind for some time now. I had a totally different idea for where I was going with my Youtube channel at first, but as I began to go through a spiritual transformation in my personal life, I decided to share that instead.
This entire phase of my life seems to be about letting go of the desire for material success or public recognition. It's a hard, HARD thing to let go of because it's always been my dream to become wildly successful and make a name for myself as an author/creative person. And maybe I will, but only if it's my destiny. Desire is the root of all suffering.
There's nothing wrong with dreaming big. I still do. But I took all my happiness and placed it in a locked box in a far-away place and told myself I couldn't have it back until I worked my ass off and got there. And then, over time, I began to wither away, only having access to my happiness when viewing it from afar and imagining myself there. I was not really experiencing any happiness in the now. Only work, work, work, from morning to night, always alone in my isolated cave. I've never been a very social person, but I wasn't even allowing myself to get out and see nature or even get a breath of fresh air once in a while. I thought because I wasn't successful at the age of 35, I didn't deserve that.
Everything is changing now, and this film documents the shift. It's the first step in a new journey, and I hope that from here, I can still pursue the creative projects that are burning within while ALSO living an authentic, loving, and happy life.