Hello,
My name is J.J. I am 18 years of age, from Nigeria. Recently, I found out I am unable to associate freely with people. I am becoming so hurting.
My friends told me I have a LOW SELF ESTEEM and I am beginning to loose my friends.
Please, what do you think I can do about?
Thanks.
RESPONSE:
Hello J.J.
I have personally had issues with depression and low self esteem, so I assure you that the problem is not peculiar to you and there is a way out. okay!
I decided to find out more about it about it and here are the findings:
SELF ESTEEM
According to a psychiatrist and author, M. Scott Peck, Self-esteem is simply how you feel about yourself and how you judge your worth. This evaluation has a profound impact on the choices you make since it determines, to a great extent, what you consider yourself capable and worthy of doing.
Low self-esteem is a debilitating condition that keeps individuals from realizing their full potential. A person with low self-esteem feels unworthy, incapable, and incompetent. In fact, because the person with low self-esteem feels so poorly about him or herself, these feelings may actually cause the person’s continued low self-esteem.
People with a good and healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. They also acknowledge that while they’re not perfect and have faults, those faults don’t play an overwhelming or irrationally large role in their lives or their own self-image (how you see yourself).
People with low self-esteem feel poorly about themselves and judge themselves to be inferior to others – they are at risk of not fulfilling their true potential in life
How To Know Good Self Esteem
- Confidence
- Self-direction
- Assuming responsibility and non-blaming behavior
- An awareness of personal strengths
- An ability to make mistakes and learn from them
- An ability to accept mistakes from others
- Optimism
- An ability to solve problems
- Acting independently and cooperative attitude
- An ability to trust others
- A good sense of personal limitations
- Good self-care
- The ability to say no when feeling uncomfortable about something
- Taking pride in their accomplishments
- Tolerating frustration
- Attempting new tasks and challenges
- Handling positive and negative emotions well
- Offering assistance to others.
Effect Of Low Self-Esteem
- Relationship troubles or difficulty interacting with other people
- Negative moods such as feeling sad, anxious, ashamed or angry
- Low motivation
- Poor body image
- Earlier s3xual activity
- Reliance on alcohol and drugs to feel better about themselves.
What Can Cause Low Self-Esteem?
- Criticism or neglect from parents, carers or loved ones that play an influential role in our life
- Negative peers or friends
- Stressful life events such as divorce or relocation
- Trauma or abuse
- Poor performance at school or unrealistic goals
- Mood disorders such as depression
- Anxiety
- Bullying or loneliness
- Ongoing medical issues.
What Are The Signs Of Low Self-Esteem
- Avoiding trying new things
- Feeling unloved and unwanted
- Blaming others for their own shortcomings
- Showing emotional indifference
- Inability to tolerate normal levels of frustration
- Negative self-talk and comparisons to others
- Persistent fear of failure or embarrassment
- Difficulty making friends
- Low levels of motivation and interest
- Being dismissive of compliments irregular feelings of anxiety or stress.
How Do I Fix My Low Self Esteem?
- Take a self-esteem inventory. You can't fix what you don't know. First you really need to know which of the signs and effect you are battling with,
- Set realistic expectations. You need to take realistic steps to overcoming and have a realistic expectation of reactions by so doing you would be taking responsibilities for your actions.
- Set aside perfection and grab a hold of accomplishment and mistakes.
- Explore Yourself. Know your strengths and weaknesses and utilize your them.
- Be willing to adjust your own self-image. Forget about what you use to be or what you imagine yourself to be. Adjust to the reality of the present and work towards a positive self-image.
- Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
The following affirmations can help you to work toward a positive self-image:
- I respect myself and others
- I am lovable and likable
- I am confident, and it shows
- I care about myself
- I am creating loving, healthy relationships
- I am a good friend to myself and others
- I accept myself just as I am
- I look great
- Life is good, and I like being a part of it
Thank you J.J. and I hope and pray for the best as you take positive steps.
If you are reading this, what do you think? drop your contributions and comments.
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Remember a problem shared is a problem solved. Share with KRIS at "counselmaster13@gmail.com".
