Kinda looks like her actually. She's a black Puerto Rican and her name is Sarah Rodriguez. She's 49 years old. Thanks to giphy.com for the animation.
I have a lot on my mind today guys so hopefully I can get this all out properly. I wasn’t ready to talk about this but now I am. Last Thursday at approximately 5:00PM by next door neighbor attacked me as I was returning to my building after running a few errands. She was leaning against the building and looked up at me. She looks at me a lot when we run into each other, trying to intimidate me. She’s been harassing me for close to four years. This time she was charging directly at me and I was thinking maybe she’s high and she doesn’t realize she’s about to walk right into me. Nope, she got right up to me, grabbed my hair, punched me on the left side of the head with her knuckles then threw me down to the ground.
“You got a problem with me???!!!” She was screaming. As a matter of fact I fucking do have a problem with her. She’s caused me untold suffering and misery which I wrote about a few times on Facebook and would check in every day there with the hashtag #stillalive because I knew the violence was going to escalate. I was hoping to begin to organize my writing last week and then this happened. I already have PTSD from a violent assault. Getting back to the story, I jumped up like a spring after she threw me to the ground, I have very strong legs from biking which are like shock absorbers, I don’t ride a bike with struts when I mountain bike. I ran across the street to the shop on the corner which is a silkscreen T-shirt printing business and I started pounding in the door screaming HELP ME!! And they locked the fucking door! I’m standing there begging them, screaming my fucking head off which seemed like a fucking eternity then they FINALLY opened the goddam door!
WTF. I get in there, finally, and of course everyone’s a fucking hero when you are no longer in danger. Some chick says I should have stayed on the ground and let my assailant beat me then this chick would have ran out there and beat her ass. Are you serious??? Just SHUT UP PLEASE. I called 911 and an ambulance arrived within about 5 minutes. I was shaking. I go out to meet the EMT’s and I ask one to walk me over because my glasses I can’t see for shit anymore, the only real setback I’ve gotten for making it to 50, and my glasses are destroyed so I pick up one of the lenses so I can look through it in case I have to read anything.
I get in the ambulance and my head is spinning. I touch the side of my head and there is a huge “egg” the EMT called it growing on the side of my head. He gives me an ice pack and I hold it on the lump which is surprisingly somewhat soothing.
Let’s get back to the issue of trying to get organized. OK, so I wasn’t able to organize my writing like I wanted to YET. And, I am struggling with flashbacks and anger low frustration tolerance. But I am dealing. I attend Recovery International a mental health recovery peer support program. My colleagues at Recovery reinforce for me that nothing is more important than maintaining my inner peace and thus my mental health. We can’t control the outside environment but we can with the tools we learn at Recovery restore our inner peace with practice. Aside from the pursuit of dis-identifying with the thinking mind, a process known to some as enlightenment, Recovery has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. With my health and inner peace, as long as I don’t get murdered by this maniac before she gets arrested, I can accomplish anything.
Photo by David Cohen on Unsplash
I came to some realizations about what I want to do with my life since this attack, I am going to hire a theatrical coach to get to the next level in my musical career and focus, focus, focus. I am moving to Harlem in two weeks (more on that later). And, I haven’t mentioned it but I am a witness in a federal investigation (FBI) so there is a lot to cover. I still want to get organized as well but stream of consciousness writing is all I can manage at the moment. Ok, guys, please stick with me and I will get to all the dimensions of what is going on with me in this thing called life.
