For me, I wasn’t diagnosed with Autism until I was 39 years old, and had already been married for 15 years. And like I stated in my previous blog, at that time my relationship was severely on the rocks. However, once I really began to dig into the research, I found out that people with Autism have what’s called Facial Expression Dyslexia. This basically means we misinterpret facial expressions. One common example is when someone is surprised… Our brains interpret it as fear. But the main one that causes conflict is when someone is experiencing pain… Our brains interpret it as anger. You could see how this could lead to serious problems. Couple that with the fact that a couple years ago my wife’s disc degeneration reached the point where she had to have a spinal fusion, and now she can’t work and will more than likely be on prescription pills for pain management for the rest of her life. Now try to convince someone who suffers from Facial Expression Dyslexia that his wife isn’t angry, when that person has no idea their Autistic in the first place. People might ask, “Well didn’t she just say she was in pain?” My response to that is, “Yes. But I thought she was taking her pain out on me. To me, she literally looked like she wanted to kill me.” And in retrospect, I now realize that this has been one of the main reasons I’ve struggled so much socially my entire life. I’d go somewhere and think, “Why’s this person looking at me like that?” So, when you put all the pieces together...
People with Autism have Facial Expression Dyslexia which causes paranoia, and that of course creates conflict. Now try to imagine living your whole life, just walking around thinking everyone who’s just a little stressed out, or in pain is actually looking at you like they want to cause you physical harm. Yeah… Not good. I actually thought the problem really was everyone else. Nope. It was me. I was oblivious to the pain I was causing everyone around me. Once I became aware of this and accepted it, it was like a rebirth. My marriage is now better than it’s ever been, and my hope is now to help as many people I can who might be dealing with the same issue. If you have Autism/Asperger’s or know someone that does please follow me along this journey as I try my best to give insight into the world and the mind of Autism. If you have any questions, just type it in the comment section and I’ll respond as soon as possible. And don’t forget to like and follow.
