Our Autism Journey Part 10
There are days that I look at Dregon and try to remember when he said words freely, made eye contact, and was just like his brother. Then I realize that is my problem, he has no problem with who he is. He doesn't feel he does not fit into the "normal", he is just being who he is. The person he is, is perfect to him.
My issues are not with whom my child is, it is for what he will need to be. I love Dregon and all the parts of him including his Autism. I don't want to rid him of what makes him, him. I want him to have all of it, Autism and everything he wants in the world. Unfortunately, the world does not accept different, they humiliate, torment, bully, and make them a social spectacle. These thoughts haunt my life.
In the recent days we have been venturing out more do to the warmer weather. We have been going to the park and their are more kids, for the same reason. When Dregon goes to play and interact with them, they look at him as though he is from another planet. They walk away and when he tries to communicate they ignore him. It breaks my heart because he is this awesome, funny, loves everything kid.
The other kids and adults outside of our house only see the Autism, the flapping, the non verbal communication, the squealing, not the person. They can't see this awesome kid. They deem him not "normal" and walk away. My feeling is, its your LOSS!!
This is not a complaining post about the world and how unfair it is, it is my resolve to not try and shove Dregon into the normal role. I use to believe it was my job as a mom to fix him, to make it all go away. It was my job to make his life perfect. My hang up, not his. In his mind he is perfect.
I also have realized I treat him different, just like the outside world. I baby him. I give him what he wants, pamper him, coddle him. I need to treat him as I would his siblings and have him learn that yes he can be Dregon, but to live within the world his was born, he has to conform to some life rules. Speech being one.
Since I have been asking him to talk, talking to him instead of just asking him questions as the speech therapist told me too, talking to him as I talk to Finn, he is answering more.
This morning I made him eggs for breakfast. He tried to pick up one of the eggs. I told him no and put the egg back on the counter. He went full on temper tantrum. After I completed his eggs he was still crying. I took an egg out of the fridge, what was the worst he could do? If he got it all over him and the floor, they are both washable. Just had to make sure nothing went into his mouth. Well he got a bowl, tried to break the egg. I helped him break the egg, he dumped the egg into the bowl and looked at me. I got a fork, he helped me stir, put it in the pan, cook them, and put them in his bowl. He got a little mad through, because I would not let him do it alone, but with a hot burner that was not going to happen. My point is he wants to do more and I have to stop babying him so he can.
When he broke the egg and dumped it, he got egg on him and he hated that. He looked at me and said; "Mama, no ewwww." He held his hands up to be washed. The whole time I was washing his hands he kept saying; "Mama no, ewww." I loved hearing his voice and my name. My little man is perfect :)
All Photo's By @imaginedragon