There’s one aspect of my Asperger’s that I struggle with, and always have really, and that’s fatigue and managing my energy levels. One of the first things I learnt about Asperger Syndrome was that people with the disorder often struggle with a great deal of fatigue as a result of them processing things with their intellect, as the aspie brain doesn’t do it automatically.
I first noticed that I was struggling with fatigue shortly after finishing Sixth Form and getting my first full-time job, coupled with going out on an evening with friends most nights a week. I visited the GP to try to get to the bottom of it, and after blood tests and the ruling out the obvious things like diabetes, I was still none the wiser. I just had low energy levels as far as I was concerned, but because my peers didn’t seem to struggle with these issues, it must just be so I continued doing things as I was “supposed to”. Socialising basically became one of my “special interests”, and I didn’t want to not go out, as I felt blessed just to have the opportunity.
Several times all this led to me essentially burning out, running myself so low that I just couldn’t function properly anymore. I often chalked it up to my bad sleep habits/patterns, but that’s a whole separate issue. At times I was falling asleep during the day, unable to stay focused on any task. The only thing that seemed to help at these times was having some solitary time, going for a walk through the city at night or locking myself away in my room with just my laptop.
Sometimes even the most basic of functions like following along with a conversation, or processing your surroundings just seemed like too much. I noticed that those around me weren’t having these problems, and if I opened up about my struggles to anyone, they were quick to dismiss it all as a result of my lifestyle choices. After a few years, I started putting the pieces together. I ruled things out, stopped drinking alcohol and caffeine for a while, really focused on my sleeping habits and patterns and improved my diet. Still the fatigue persisted though.
A few years ago I landed a job as a web developer for an upcoming software development firm here in the UK, and I loved it. It was about an hours drive away, which sucked especially at the time as my driving confidence wasn’t exactly high. After just 3 months, working as hard as I possibly could, it all became too much and just the thought of sitting under those fluorescent lights after driving through so much bloody traffic, I just couldn’t face it. My anxiety would rise as I would start to worry about the likelihood of me having a car accident (which did inevitably happen on my last day of employment there) and other such things. I was becoming increasingly worried about all of this affecting my work, until I just couldn’t do it any longer. About a year after this, I sought out a diagnosis.
One of the biggest bains of my working life has to be the open plan office. Those things are just a living nightmare for someone on the Autistic Spectrum. There is just so much constantly going on around you, that it becomes impossible to concentrate on the task at hand. I was lucky at my last job, as I could pop my headphones in and try to zone out to some Pink Floyd while I tried to rapidly cram as much programming knowledge into my head as possible, but not everyone is that lucky.
For me, having time alone is the most important thing to “recharge my battery”. Not having to think about what’s going on around, or think about what the appropriate thing to say in response to someone etc. allows me to get my head straight. I like to have time to process things as well, it feels good to think things through.
Managing my energy levels is something I’m still actively working on, but hopefully the rate I’m posting here on Steemit is testament to how much things have improved for me in recent years. I couldn’t have managed this two years ago. It requires a bit of strategic thinking, which luckily is one of my strengths, and some trial and error, but I believe I can get there. Next step is to figure out how I can best get back in the work world, without completely burning out.
What are your thoughts and feelings on this topic? Let me know in the comment section down below, and as always make sure to follow me for the latest Cryptocurrency, Internet and Pop Culture updates, plus other random ramblings. Until we meet again, Peace!
Image Source:
Too Tired: A Comprehensive Look at Fatigue in Women & What to Do About It (https://foundationspress.com/health-books/too-tired/)