The full impact of what has been happening at a psychedelic gathering doesn't really hit until a few days after we have all left that temporary bubble and are back to our regular routines and social environments...
For one it feels like the mind, the subconscious has to sort and reorganize these mighty impressions and experiences and integrate them into the common mode of perception that is now present again, among a society largely unaffected and unaware of psychedelic states of mind.
I often notice how much sleep I have to catch up on, not merely for the sake of making up for the lack of sleeping hours during the festival week on a body-related level but precisely to rest the awareness and to let the subconscious do its thing - sort.
The really curious effect after a strong and impressionable gathering though has to do with the people I meet back in "normal society" within the following days and weeks after leaving the gathering. While it seems everything has remained the same here in "civilization" I myself feel different.
It's like returning to your familiar surroundings, to the village you grew up in, where people follow their routines and every day this past week has been the same for everyone while you yourself have just returned from a breathtaking adventure out in a magic jungle with jaguars, mystical surroundings, ancient languages and unexpected insights into life and yourself.
Upon returning there is this peculiar experience of the psychedelic afterglow, the doors of perception still opened widely even after the psychedelic compounds have long left the body - the strong experiences among the tribe on the search and getting used to that translate over and only wear off slowly out upon arriving back in "civilization".
And so it is that I still hear the universe talking loudly, synchronicities are blasting throughout my day, I recognize energetic intermingling of people, situations, circumstances and intentions while going grocery shopping, while crossing the road, while seeing people walking down the street passing me unsure of themselves.
The difference is: Here, in "my town" I can't be quite sure how much of these underlying eneregy currents are consciously picked up by people. Where at a psychedelic festival on the first night you can be certain that the awareness of people you meet is heightened greatly, back in your normal town it isn't the same.
In "civilization" people do respond to behavior... similar to how people do on a good psychedelic dancefloor. But, so often I am rather positive that out in normality people don't consciously realize they are responding.
Putting this into language is clumsy.
This experience of seeing people respond without noticing they are responding would give credence to the theory that everyone is always connected to energetics and subtext, but rarely ever get a chance to live in an environment where that perception is encouraged or even fostered so that they could start to trust what they feel.
Here in "regular town" people do respond to my intention, to my presence of mind, to the resonance of my reaction to my hangups... but they can't quite pin it down "where" that energetic influx just came from or that it even existed. I can see it in their eyes! The confusion and the lack of trust in themselves!
It's quite marvellous actually, once I get over the sadness! It isn't pity (!!) because I know it's just a matter of time until people unravel the subtext of the happening, but it is quite a sad thing to get used to at first before I can start to pass them the ball, to dare trust more what they feel and to play with it on an empathic level.
It can even feel like cheating in a game, because I have the luxury of giving more credence to what I feel than we are normally ever taught to trust within regular society, where as most people seem to not be able to trust it as much as they would want to. At the same time I can consciously play with it, and all the cumulative experiences of this past week and previous gatherings of past years give strong weight to this... different mode of perceiving reality with other people even when they don't seem to have the same luxury.
Despite this "advantage" (it's not a race nor a contest!!!) I greatly enjoy the psychedelic afterglow being back in normal society. It is hugely empowering being able to choose more of how reality unfolds and manifests out there in society among other people. I am more aware of the impact and effect that my actions and inactions have.
I feel an example would be in order, if there is any way I could hope to relay this in language at all.
Grocery shopping is one of these situations that are just perfect for making some before- and after-comparisons. It's a typical situation where most people will meet in some capacity, passing each other in the store, browsing for food and standing in line at the cash register. In the festival-afterglow I am more ready to not only pick up on what is, but also more willing and easy to play with it without attachments. It can sometimes come across a bit scary for people because it can literally seem like I were reading someone's mind, and I probably am in some capacity. Having been in an aware mode of perceiving the field and other people for days on end brings you to a state where your guesses increase in precision to immense degree. If you want to call it "guesses"...
So I say to her in the cheese isle: "Yeh, definitely the one with more fat. Cheese is so much better when it tastes rich, right?"
And she looks at me like "WTF, how did he know? Do I know this man?"
you see the confusion and even fear creeping up in her awareness about this somewhat perplexing unexpected initiation of dialogue by a stranger related to her activity.
Of course she never says anything of the sort which in turn makes me realize how ... unfair impactful it is to base an initial conversation with a stranger on so much perception of the field that it seems like magic to people who are not used to trusting the field or deny its existence out of sheer habit and conditioning.
It scares people.
Which is why I always rudder back instantly when I feel that confusion or even fear creep up in the other, making my intention clear that I wanted to build a bridge and not to creep her out.
"Oh, I just saw you standing in front of this cheese isle hesitating and often feel the same way. I found regular cheese so much more satisfying than fat-reduced... Have a nice day!" And I pick the non-fat-reduced cheese myself and smile at her, while she looks at me with a sense of... relaxation being delighted that I didn't want to stay nor make the conversation continue, closely followed by a look of... desperation... to actually want the conversation to continue.
But I have no need, I already brightened her day just acknowledging her and her inner dialogue without wanting anything in return.
It's even better when she (like in this recent example) has a child with her. Kids are natural psychonauts because they still trust what they feel, and it's marvellous to acknowledge their usually unacknowledged or derived senses from the position of an adult in a society where most adults are of the conditioned mindset that kids are immature and that adults know what's up and what's what.
After a psychedelic festival I am always certain that it's just the other way around, but more on that soon...
Antaris 2018 by Robert Conrad @ flickr
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