"No way, if your mother found out... she was crying most of the night, Aysha," he said. “Think about your mother.”
"But I think that Evangelist Shell has some of the answers I need, Dad," I said.
"I'm sorry Aysha," he said looking at the floor. “I have to consider all of us. We’re a family. When one of us is down, the others have to prop her up. If I drove you over to that church, it would hurt your mother. Her pain is too raw right now. Give it some time. We’ll see how it goes and maybe you can go some other time.”
“But Dad, Mother has her needs but so do I. I feel like this is an opportunity for me to experience a whole new way of learning about the Lord. How can that be a bad thing, Dad?” I pleaded with him but I knew he was probably fairly convinced that my going would do the family more harm than good.
“Aysha, I don’t think you should go this time. You will be serving the Lord by not going.” My dad was very gently letting me down but I didn’t understand what he was getting at.
“How could my not attending church serve the Lord?
“What’s the fifth commandment, Aysha?”
I remembered – Honor thy mother and thy father. I hugged my dad.
“You got me, Dad! It makes me feel better knowing that by not going to church I am serving the Lord. Never thought I’d ever say that!” I said and really did understand my dad’s point but of course I was not about to give up my quest! My dad wouldn’t want me to either.
“Well, this is a special occasion. I think Jesus will understand when he doesn’t see you in the pew tonight.”
I was really disappointed but I understood where my dad was coming from and I knew that God does want us to honor and obey our parents. Even though I felt hurt myself, I made sure I didn’t let any tears spill out. The last thing my dad needed was two crying females.
Over the next two weeks, everything in our family had gone back to normal. My mother got over the sadness she felt from our visit to Larry’s church and seemed to feel fine and was her usual happy self. The harsh words that had hurt her so had faded. But just to play it safe, my Dad and I didn’t bring the subject up.
I, however, had not lost my desire to return to Larry’s church.
I went to the town’s bookstore with my friend, Ellen. Ellen and her mother picked me up and we headed to town for a little lunch and shopping. I was going to make sure that the shopping portion of our afternoon would include the bookstore.
We had a nice lunch at Betty’s Buffet but Ellen and I overdid it and stuffed ourselves at the dessert bar. We could have used a nap after all that food but we got re-energized with the prospect of shopping. I was excited. My mother had been very generous and given me $50 to spend. When Ellen and I finally finished with our third dessert, the three of us set off to do some serious shopping.
The first stop was at the town’s department store. Ellen and I spent a lot of time in the junior department and we each bought a cute top. Ellen bought a pretty bracelet and I was tempted to buy one just like it. But I looked to see how much money I had left and decided not to buy any jewelry and save it for some books. Buying books had been my main goal but it’s easy for a thirteen year-old girl to be lured and tempted by all the pretty things in a department store.
The bookstore was our last stop. Ellen’s mother was an avid reader and also wanted to buy some new books. She was looking around in the non-fiction section while Ellen was reading the latest gossip in some fan magazines. That gave me the opportunity to set off on my own and concentrate on finding the reading material that would help me in my project—otherwise known as “the deal.”
I made my way back to the religious books and found the large section that contained Christian books and reading material. First thing I did was scan the shelves for anything that had Evangelist Shell's name on it. But search as I did, I found absolutely nothing. I was surprised. Why wouldn’t the evangelist want to spread his teaching in books? Once again, I was disappointed. But I was undeterred. I found so many books I wanted to read that it was hard to choose which ones I wanted to buy. I would have bought them all but that would have broken the bank—not mine—my dad’s! I had enough to buy several books that I felt were important and relevant in my search for the truth and for the best way to preach to a congregation. I barely had enough to cover the charge. I came home with only eight-seven cents in my purse. But I was happy with my purchases. I couldn’t have spent my money in any better way!