This article was written by 
About the authour / 关于作者:
Follow the author
请关注/追随作者查看他/她的其它优质文章。
Original text/原文如下：
How many times have you been working so painfully to achieve a goal? A few, or maybe many. There are so much of stereotypes in life to teach us getting something at the expense of our freedom and happiness is acceptable.
你有多少次为了得到某样东西而痛苦不堪？很少，或很多。生活中有很多用快乐换取成功的典型例子，以至于我们都觉得那种痛苦是必经的了。而实际上真的是如此吗？
Buy a house you can barely afford 买你买不起的房子
Taken at Singapore, evening 摄于新加坡，黄昏
You are sick of room renting. Your owner's house rules disgust you. You have had enough. You want to have your own house so you can do whatever you want. Decorate or renovate at you will. Blast that music without bothering the housemate. You proceed to buy a house you can barely afford. Squeeze out the downpayment from the already shabby lifestyle. Make monthly payments on it for the longest loan period you can find, like 30 years. So that you can spend 3 times the cost of the house. And the banks get the last laugh.
I'm no expert in the property investment. But we should buy a house that costs less than 30% of our take-home pay at maximum 15-year mortgage. The longer the loan the more overpriced the house is going to be. A 15-year loan at 3% annualized interest for $200,000 ends up with a total of $320,000. And the house is likely worth more than $320,000 by the time everything is paid out.
A friend of mine recently switched from a 10Gb mobile data postpaid plan to 1Gb prepaid plan. 1Gb is barely enough for his mobile internet usage so he has to turn off the data mode on his phone occasionally to avoid unnecessary data usage. He made that switch just to save up an $40 from the mobile bill. I thought he was in some sort of financial crisis, only to know he was just bought his first house. He has to start cutting down expenses for the coming mortgage.
This is a minor example of trading quality of life for something one can’t afford. Who knows what sacrifices he has made behind the scene. I would not do the same if I were him.
Owning a house is such a fantastic dream and a huge privilege to me. I have not yet owned one but I know someday I will. The last thing I would do is to attempt something I’m not capable and struggling because of it.
你已经很厌倦租房的日子，屋主烦人的门规让你受够了。你决定自行购买一间属于自己的房子那以后就可以为所欲为了。怎样装饰装修都随心所欲。轰炸喜欢的音乐也不怕干扰室友。于是你买了一间房子。从原本已经捉衿见肘的生活费里再勉强的挤出首付。向银行用最长的时间贷款，30年。这下好了，你成功的用三倍的价格买下自己的第一间房。银行也能变得更富裕了。
我不是房产专家也还没拥有房子。但我知道买房的每月还款不应该超过月收入的30%，和贷款年限必须以15年为上限。年限越长房子越贵。一个15年3%年息的贷款会只会让原本$200，000的房价最终成为$320，000。当你把贷款都还清的时候，很可能房价已经超过了这$320，000。
有位朋友最近换了手机的流量配套。从每个月10Gb的后付配套换成1Gb的预付配套。而1Gb的流量是远远不够他用的。所以为了不爆流量他只好时时把手机的上网模式关掉，需要的时候再开来用，这也照成许多不便。这改变只是为了节省40元的流量费。我很不解，以为他遇到了什么财务危机。后来才发现原来他刚买了自己的第一件房子，为了应付接下来的还款生活，只好开始勒紧裤带过活了。
这只是外人所见的小小改变，天知道他背后还为这房子做了多少牺牲。变作是我真的不会这样做。没那么大的头就别戴那么大的帽。拥有自己的房子固然是我的梦想，如果我可以拥有那样的实力来达成那也会是一种荣耀。梦想还在前方，我知道自己总有一天能够达成。在那发生之前，我是不会不自量力地去实现负荷不了的梦想。把日子过得那么卑微，不值得的。
Have a baby when you are not ready 要你要不起的孩子
My newborn nephew 未满一周的侄儿
Having a baby often link to a lot of responsibility. Child care fee and education fund will take up a big part of finance in a family. But the parent can't go all out working their ass off at the office because the kid will need their care and the parent want to act a significant role in kid's childhood. If the parent ever wanted 3 kids, they often choose to deliver all 3 within a short period like 4 to 6 years. At least this kind of 'strategy' is popular among the Chinese. Say this is the way to shorten the 'pain'.
Isn't something wrong here? Having a baby is supposed to be a bless and something worth to cheer. However, if the parent is not prepared financially and mentally for the arrival of their child, the whole family will struggle along with the growth of the newborn. Looking back after years, the parent will take the children raising experience as "dark age". They may even tell their grown-up that they should be grateful because the parent has been through a lot to feed them.
Eastern countries used to have the culture of early marriage, usually from 20 to 25 years old. Some even started from 15 years old. Those who have passed the marriage age was considered unwanted or unattractive. Furthermore，thanks to the parents who long to be a proud grandparent, those newly married couples have to hurry up the reproduction time for the enlightenment of the family. This culture is outdated and brings no pleasure to the newly-appointed parent at all.
Of course, there are so many babies come to this world due to accident, that is out of our topic and that is why too birth precaution is important.
生儿育女往往和山高的责任画上等号。养育费教育费还有各种费用都是一个家庭的不小负担。为人父母的也不能完全的埋头在外面苦干来养家糊口，因为考虑到孩子的成长需要他们的陪伴。父母当然也不想错过陪伴孩子的黄金岁月。如果俩小口想要3个小孩，通常的做法就是在三五年间把三个小孩‘一次过’生下来，好‘一次过’的一起带大。至少这样的策略在东南亚的华人圈子里是颇为盛行的，说是可以减少带孩子的痛苦，长痛不如短痛，因为新生小孩的头几年是最不好带的。
这里是不是有什么东西搞错了？生小孩是多么神圣和值得庆祝的一件喜事，现在居然都和痛苦挂钩了？这就是因为许多夫妻在经济上和思想上还没有足够的准备就强行想成为有娃一族，结果在娃儿成长的过程种整个家庭一起受苦。多年以后往回看，父母还可能对孩子说当初把他们拉扯大是多么的不容易，孩子们应该对此心存感激。有多少父母把带孩子看成一段噩梦，往往就是因为出发点一开始都已经扭曲了。
东方国家很多都有早婚的风俗，由20到25岁之间为之结婚的黄金时期。有者甚至15岁家长就开始为之寻找伴侣了。那些错过了结婚年龄还单身的往往就会被贴上‘没人要’‘缺乏吸引力’的标签。再者，多亏那些想抱孙子想疯了的老一代，让小辈夫妻们在压力下必须有所输出好达成父母对自己传宗接代的期望。这种风俗和思想严重的和现代脱了节，也带给新手父母们很多不必要的困扰。
当然有很多孩子来到这世上是因为种种‘意外’，但这不在讨论范围内就表过不提了
You don't have to struggle to hit any goal 通往梦想的路途未必尽是痛苦的回忆
Most of the achievements that we craving for are base on fundamental finance. The best case is to buy a house using cash with zero debt, quit your job to be the full-time parent without worrying the source of income. The stronger the fundamental, the more sacrifices we can avoid on the road to success.
No matter it is buying a house, having a baby, getting a degree, or learning new skills. Enjoyable progress provides huge motivation while leaving good memories along the way.
Stop making horrible memory for the future success. If you are striving for the something good, make the process as enjoyable as possible.
很多的梦想其实都建立在经济基础上，最好的情况就是全款买房零负债，带孩子时可以退出工作做全职爹娘而不必分心生计。当然对很多人来说这都有点不切实际，但是在越强的实力前提下实现目标，便可以避免很多过程中所带来的牺牲。
不管是买房要娃，求学，学习新技术，令人身心愉快的过程足以让人时时充满动力，同时也为将来的成就留下了美好的回忆。
用不堪回首的痛苦回忆来铺排通往目标的道路，那就是本末倒置。如果你有什么好的目标想达成，尽量让拼搏的过程愉快些吧！
