The other day I managed to get myself banned from a group that I thought was different from all the rest... I had carefully observed the overall actions and values, and it truly appeared this was something unique... Well, I guess not! I am not even sure I wish to tear the scab off to tell the story... But it happened on the day my musical gear arrived, hence a milestone where I can set up my mobile recording studio again, and be a valuable asset to any community who recognizes me...
It is a big group, at 13K and inflating every day... Classic TOO BIG TO FAIL scenario, with anything that grows to fast to adapt to the volatile dynamics... The moderators complain that it is too many people, while they simultaneously register hundreds of new folks per day... A few days ago they made an arbitrary decision that affected every single person there... They stripped everyone of their color unless they had a specific role...
Now, it is not such a big thing, to be pink one day and gray the next... Yet there are very few achievements to be had there, and having my name be Girl Power Pink was actually fun... I expressed dissatisfaction at the loss, and was given very bureaucratic replies... I felt the responses lacked sensitivity, and said so... I was told to 'take a break' and I did... Went off to do some art... Hurray!
Half hour later I was fine with being stripped of my Girl Power Pink... Then I got a notification from the same chat room, someone @'d me... I went and read through the thread since when I had left... I was a bit shocked at the lack of sensitivity by both the mods, as well as the people who had JUST arrived and lacked context to speak flippantly... I called out some more behavior... The mod guaranteed that he would not be kind in the future, or couldn't guarantee he would ever be gentle... I said I have autism so I need a bit of care... I just got more legalistic bureaucracy as a response...
To add fuel to the growing silliness... Someone showed up with the name ASD... That stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder, for which I have been diagnosed, and meet with a therapist weekly to treat the disability... Within five minutes of this person being in the chat room, the moderator completely booted him from the server... I was beyond shocked! WTF???? Just before reality melted into a sith red rage, I left this Rick And Morty art in the room, with the following words...
"If you identify with this art I drew, then you need to learn to fuck off...
Everyone else, I love you and will see you soon!"
Next thing I knew the server disappeared! No explanking at all! I couldn't even message people from that group due to my being banned... I was like huh? Really? You playing sandbox games? I was community building, in my own haphazard way... And you all just proved to me that you will fail like every other shitty group out there... You failed to see me for the character I am, that every time I show up I bring something to offer... You will fail to affect change in this world, that is the true failing... I'm sure you will think you are doing something good... But with such gross dysfunction at the helm, certain doom is inevitable...
I had made personalized memes for all the mods that I met and interacted with... Those same mods did not stick up for me when the guillotine came down... Smells more like communism than community... Or compost! I don't really enjoy conflict... Not at all! What happened, from my perspective, was laying down a boundary about people being sensitive to an aspy... Then defending that boundary as it was violated... I wrote a message to the mods one by one, saying if they got the mod who banned me to publicly apologize for his actions, I would consider returning...
They pretty much said take a hike... I had to mute that self-righteous dickhead... Got no time for legalistic rules that crush the life out of group spirit... You lost a damned commodity, stoopgroop... I brought a couple amazing people to your chatrooms, and the feedback was that all the conversations were shallow and of little value... Sorry, but I believe the first impressions of my creative peers over anyone else... Just a bunch of MSPeons...
They let me know the ban was permanent yesterday... Absolute silliness! I have seen so much worse behavior there than anything I ever did... And my intentions were pretty pure... I don't give af whether you believe me or not... I was traumatized by being banned, and the longer it goes it is a forever impasse... I have autism, you cretins! One strong aspy trait is to MOVE THE FUCK ON when the tolerance for bullshit is reached... Well DING DING!!! I do not need your group to do my art! If anything, you were quite the timesuck... Emphasis on the suck...
One upside to this whole ordeal was that a newer friend made me my own disaster bunker server... I resist most new things when first presented to me, but 24 hours later I realized I could have my Think Tank Feeding Frenzy like I always wanted... This is probably not a place you will be invited, unless you already brainstorm with me on a semi-day-to-day basis... This is a server of synergy, a writer's room where we all amplify each other's creative geniuses...
We are the fucking Voltron of Creativity... (Pyew pyew pyew!)
I guess if you think you could hang in a zen world of chronic creativity, talk to me and we can discuss possibilities... As long as we know that talking about the group is not an invitation for folks I don't know to come flood us... Just trying to have a happy ending here! Me lulz you long time!
Oh, and the name of the moderator that I muted, and who banned me permanently?
His name rhymes with NARCISSCO!
Who knows what the future holds? Radio shows? New parody activism songs? New cartoons and moneyart? New friends and new plateaus of creative concepts? A girlfriend? My own emoji? A cure for neurotypical thinking?
Only time will tell, and it almost NEVER tells ME!