Bears are best animal. Why are bears best animal? Allow me to explain.
1. Bears are immortal.
Little known fact about bears; they never die. They just become Elder Lich Bears that rule the subterranean society of bears. Despite being skeletal bears with immense dark powers, they're still pretty chill. Because they're bears.
2. Bears have mad karate skills.
No, you don't understand. Bruce Lee trained with bears. People are always asking "Do bears shit in the woods?" but what they don't know is that not only are bears shitting out there, they're doing constant "Rocky" style training montages. Pumping iron, sparring, punching trees in half. You ever found a tree that looks like it fell over in the woods? Nah, bear punched it over. With his Bear-fu. That movie kung-fu panda? Most of the executive producers are Bears. Seriously, go look it up. Their names are just growling noises.
3.Bears get mad Puss
Look at this mother fucker.
You think you can beat that? No. In fact you probably already have your pants off. Control yourself, bear wants none of you. Bears only want other bears because no one else is good enough. They will steal your girlfriend though.
Just to prove they can.
4.Bears are super cute
Do I even need to say anything mother fucker?
I will fight you.
You don't think bears are rad? Bear animal best animal? I can Bearly control myself in the face of such Bearfaced idiocy. I will fight you in a bearknuckle brawl.
No but seriously I will find you. And I will beary you.