As mentioned before - I am not a prohibitionist in any sense. But the mythos around alcohol is one worth debunking...
So here are some Alt Brand Slogans that try to undermine some of that grandeur.
Lucky Beer - Just make believe it.
Coors Lite - The fuse of your repressed anger.
Jameson Triple Distilled Whiskey - Great rewards come from great risks. The Fourth Distilled is pending.
Pilsner - Before there were decent Pills there was Pilsner
India Pale Ale - Because everyone secretly wants an English complexion.
Guiness Stout - Beers present. Your future.
Corona Export - Because Mexicans work too much. For too little.
Labatts Blue - Where you R the lab.
Canadien - If you keep drinking it you will spell like this too.
Lucky Beer - When you fake it until you cannot take it.
Sapporo Draft - Brewed from fresh Ichiban.
Corona - When it rains lemons just add one to our shitty beer and enjoy. Just don't sell it to kids.
Jagermeister - Translation: Master Hunter. Be your own prey.
Lemon Gin - Seeing was believing. (May cause blindness used to be listed on the bottle buried in the fine print)
Hillbilly Moonshine - Since your sun has long since set.
Crown Royal - King's bottle, Peasants quality.
Chang Beer - Even Elephanst needs to forget.
Skol Beer - Revisit the noxious brew that inspired the world to cane a drink as quickly as possible. SKOL - SKOL - SKOL -
an echo of the past, a timeless reminder of future regrets.
Glenfiddich Single Malt Scotch - Double down on the abysmal odds that the Scots got it right the first time.
Snow Beer - It was destined to be yellow anyway.
JD - Because acronyms require so much less mental effort.
Tsing Tao - Banned as a religion by Communism - Tao is now available in liquid form. Works instantly.
Captain Morgans Rum - Making scurvy fun again.
Arak - The sweatshop workers little helper.
Schnapps - Snapps slurred
Malibu - Exotica for those on the too drunk to fly list.
Standard Vodka - Experience what its like to be on the losing side.
Moose Beer - Because at least road kill gets picked up eventually.
Schaftesbury Beer - Bury your sense of being shafted in your mine of broken dreams.
Southern Comfort - A little reminder of how dumb you could be when slaves did all the work.
Tequila - Pronounce each syllable very slowly as though it were English and you will get what is intended.
Enjoy