Good morning, Steemit! How could I not love Steemit!
The answer should be obvious, but if you remain oblivious, I shall explain it to you in detail.
Steemit is a revolutionary social media platform where mediocrity finally pays!
That's right! Were you born stupid? Devoid of any talent? Are you generally bad at life? No one will hire you? But your mom keeps telling you you're special, you should believe in yourself and you will succeed, right?
Well, we now have just the thing for you!
On Steemit, you can finally live out your wildest dreams of being talented and worth something.
Yes, it's an illusion, but so were your girlfriend's good looks when you met her drunk as a duck.
I'm thankful for Steemit because on Steemit, someone like me with a completely mediocre at best skill set, mediocre at best looks, mediocore at best social skills, mediocore at best intellect, mediocore at best everything imaginable can finally post shit on the internet and get paid for it.
The best part is you don't even have to acknowledge your mediocrity, no one has to think you're any good, except yourself. And your mom, of course. The more inflated your ego, the better.
Are you just not capable of making money with your photography, even though you really think you're really, really good?
Are your novels just not being published, even though they are absolutely amazing?
No one ever reads your blog posts?
People just don't care about you in general?
Thinking about doing serious self reflection, honing your skills, developing your talents, overcoming obstacles and evolving as a human being?
Nonsense! Forget all that dull real world stuff and join Steemit! On Steemit, it doesn't matter if you suck, it doesn't matter if the real world doesn't value your work, on Steemit, your mediocrity will always have value!
You can finally be important, you can finally be a somebody, and never feel like a nobody again.
Sure, those other jerks get actual work in the real world, but they just don't know about Steemit, and you don't need them anyway.
At this point, you must be saying to yourself: "But I'm even less than mediocore, I'm very, very bad, is Steemit for me?"
Never fear!
On Steemit, you are never alone, since the Steemit experience always comes equipped with an army of bots telling you how nice your post was, how you are a dear friend, how much you are loved, how much they value the fact that you shared your completely meaningless pointless story of your sad, pathetic, directionless and hopeless life!
Not to mention, Steemit, INC. has shown me that even though you weren't blessed with high intellect at birth, you can still make your dreams come true and be success.
End social injustice today, and join Steemit!
Steemit has changed my life for the better! No longer do I ever need to feel talentless again, I am finally a somebody! I'm so happy I could cry. Thank you, Steemit!
See you on the Trending Page!