Your tone last vid reflects the general observable mood of the community. The alt party is over (for now) and we are poking bitcoin with a stick hoping it will do something interesting. On this chart I believe we are somewhere around capitulation.

You can bet I've felt it too, I'm human.

So cheer up. What matters now is quality. You were better than 99% of the other youtubers out there in keeping your head in the greed and delusion phase.