A very good Christian song that I like has a chorus that goes:
“What if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near”
The fact of the matter is that although Jesus healed A LOT of people in the Bible, He also made some people He loved VERY MUCH blind or dumb. (The Apostle Paul and John the Baptist’s father)
In my own life, I have felt at times as though I didn’t know or see things that other people that I admired could see or knew intuitively.
What I have come to believe is that NOT EVERYTHING IS FOR EVERYONE TO KNOW.
And not every POWER is for everyone to have.
One of my favorite quotes in the Bible comes from the Apostle Paul who went from murdering Christians to becoming one of Christ’s greatest human advocates in history and writing the majority of the New Testament of the Bible.
“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
Sometimes God will literally BLIND you to things right in front of you to save you (or someone else).
Sometimes God will literally STOP YOU from being able to say something. Maybe causing you to temporarily forget, or interrupting you.
Sometimes God will literally BLOCK YOU from hearing something or finding out something.
Sometimes God will literally DISABLE YOU from being able to go somewhere, or do something BECAUSE HE WANTS TO LEAD YOU SOMEWHERE BETTER for His glory!
In 2002, my father died. It was a literal turning point in the trajectory of my life.
I graduated from college in 2006.
From 2006 to 2011, I lived what felt like the most meaningless existence and my life literally felt as though it was at a stand still. I often felt like my best days were behind me, and the dreams of my youth were dead, and the potential I knew that I had within me would never be brought to light.
In 2012, my optimism returned, and I believed again. I believed in me again. I believed in what was possible again.
There has been many moments in my life before and since then when I felt like every force of nature possible was pushing me backwards against the direction that I felt like my very essence was pulling me. There has been many moments when I asked (even with tears pouring down my face) if I was fighting against where God wanted me to be.
Today, I believe that I am exactly where He has has been leading me all along.
And I pray that I will from now on rejoice in suffering, because the truth is that God is still there even during the tears. When you don’t see that, and when you don’t look to Him when you have been disabled, the pain of the moment will be excrutiating and will feel meaningless. You may still get where he wants you to go, and you may even arrive where you always wanted to be, but the process will be a little more empty than it would have been if you just believed. There will be parts of God’s calling on your life that you will never fulfill. And at last, when you cross over to the other side of eternity (as all men do), and you are asked to give account for your life, on the great report card of life, you would have failed (now and for all eternity).
None of what I have written equates to, “do not try” or “do not fight to alleviate others from suffering in this world” or “think lightly about your own welfare or the welfare of others”. However, do not worship it. Do not look temporary delight as the ultimate goal. See it for what it truly is, with sober eyes; and keep moving...and keep praying.
And when you don’t understand, and when you can’t move, and when it doesn’t make sense; know and rest in the fact that God is in control, He is love (and loves YOU) and He is right there (yes, right here).