This year has been particular one for me - a year of contrasts - because I've had both, the worst and the best time of my life.
The starting of the year continued with my duty of being a "government slave", in other words civil service. It was so boring and life sucking to have a "job" (arranging leaflets, much work) that it made me a whiny bitch who at least had some inspiration for producing some decent fiction even on that period of my life because of feeling so shitty. You could consider this as both a Failure/Achievement. There was even a period on early January when I went to the health center and tried to get anxiety and/or depression diagnosis just so I could end it.
Apparently I wasn't bad enough on either end. Somehow I just kept going, though, and I felt bit better again when the spring came.
You know how people say "you still have time to figure out what you wanna do", meaning "what you wanna study". That's what people kept telling me through high school all the way to civil service. Well guess what, I still don't know. Failure #2. But guess what? I'm not actually bothered by that, not nearly as much as some of my family is - it seems they are experiencing more discomfort about it than I am. That is probably because they don't improvise as much as I do.
What I did know, however, was that I was about to go on a little cycling tour in Finland after having done my duties for our government.
In 5 weeks, I cycled at least 1300 kilometres, and while doing so, I camped outside, gathered and cooked myself wild food (mushrooms) and visited/met familiar people and relatives - even some Steemians. Achievement #2.
During this cycling trip I did something that I think deserves a special mention.
The eating challenge
So, what I did, was I took a challenge to eat the dish next to in the picture; 1.2 kilos of stake plus potatoes equating for 1.5 kilos of food in total. The challenge was to eat it under an hour which would result with getting the meal for free. If not, then it would result with a 50€ check. I did it in 56 minutes. Achievement #3.
I'm quite proud of it, because it is kind of a validation for my reputation as an eating machine - making it official.
Moving on to Steemfest
Soon after I had ended my cycling tour, it was time for Steemfest. When I first learned it will be held in Krakow, I wasn't completely sure of my attendance, but the idea grew on me and I decided to go.
Long story short, it was a huge success in so many ways, from getting to know awesome people all over the world, learning about Steem, dapps, and not to forget all the personal development/discovery that took place during it. Achievement #4.
But that is not all, I continued my adventures even after Steemfest, and went traveling further into Europe - hitchhiking, couchsurfing, hostels. No real purpose except just for the sake of doing it. It also has had a good side effect of having embraced and broken down fears, which helps dealing with anxiety. Achievement #5.
In fact, it is still ongoing at the time of writing this. Although it is soon to end for I will be back home on 20th of December for Christmas.
Obviously, a lot has happened with this year being a pivotal turning point from fulfilling my dreadful duties to our government, to becoming a free man and making damn sure to enjoy it to the fullest. But there's still things I struggle or, depending on the perspective, have failed with. It relates a lot to the problem of not knowing what I'd like to study. You see, the thing is that I rarely can keep my attention on a specific thing and consistently work on it - I might get some terrific idea, but get bored, lose interest and just jump to something else. Failure #3. It seems like it never ends, but I guess it's fine as long as there's new interesting things to discover, right?
However, if there's been one thing I've managed to be consistent, it's writing. I might not be consistent with my topics, but at least the core skill, writing itself, has been an essential part of this year when I have also gotten much deeper into the Steemworld. Achievement #6.
Of course, there's a lot of small things to improve: more meditation, better diet, more exercise, more money etc., but one more major thing I feel I've failed with, is being in touch with my dream world. I've become lazy and I haven't written my dreams up for a long time, and missing all that stuff that happens in my head feels like such a waste, because it can be such a fountain of material to work with. I haven't had lucid dreams, either, for such a long time, and it feels like I'm loosing touch with myself. Failure #4. Also, my love life has been drier than my (dried) fruit, so I will only briefly mention it here hoping nobody will see it :(
