Hello Steemit people!
It's been a while without posting in English eh? (since my introductory post heheh). I have spent some days thinking that maybe it's time to post in English again. I have done so far 10 posts and this is the 11th one, and it's not a coincidence, I am making this post in English on purpose and I'll tell you why, just keep reading.
This week I have been thinking of what to write, as always I have a lot of ideas flowing in my mind but it's not till the moment in which I’m in front of the computer determined to write (desperately), that I can really create something.
There have been moments in which I find myself writing like at 2 o 3 am, and once till dawn; It is really hard for me to write, to create something in general I think; I consider myself a creative person (always thinking and having ideas) but there's always this thing, this flaw, that always blocks me or nails me: laziness.
But I'm aware of that and it's a fight (I'm kind of dramatic sometimes and I’m aware of that too). So most of the time I kind of "force" myself to write. I don’t want to sound like I don’t like writing, I do like it, it's just that I’m not used to it; some time ago I used to write something every time in a while but I hated what I did, I've always thought that I suck at writing, but it's normal that I think that because good writing depends on practice, so if I never practiced how can I be good at it? I remember I mentioned this is my introductory post (my only post in English before this one) because I consider it crucial and that was the topic of my second post (if you know Spanish you can read it in here, or use the translator heheh).
The thing is that I started writing properly, I mean for somebody to read me, because of Steemit; so laziness became a harder thing to fight than it was before, writing became challenging because I started to take it more seriously, and they say you have to work a lot if you want achieve what you want, If I want to be a good writer I have to practice a lot, and Steemit became the opportunity to do that.
I took this picture with my cellphone when I was in my hometown on December holidays. These days were crucial because I spent most of these days thinking of what was my Steemit profile going to be about. So the idea was born in these days and this picture reminds me of that and the huge homesickness I was feeling.
So, though I "suffer" while writing or creating a post, I really enjoy the outcome; there were some posts in which I was really nervous and anxious when I was about to hit the "post" button, but it was because I was showing a little piece of me in the writing (when you are an introverted person that thing can be a little bit hard) but it felt so beautiful to see the reactions of the people who read you, it's beautiful to see how you are changing a little bit people's mind, how you receive support from strangers so kindly, how you can earn money from doing something you like: more than writing you are expressing yourself, it's really beautiful to see and feel how you are achieving what you wanted.
I think that I have done what I intended to do with my Steemit profile: I'm showing what I want to show, I am communicating what I want to communicate, I'm making the image and impact I want to make, and I'm really happy with that. When someone tells me that I am indeed different, changing people visions and giving new perspectives (the goals I mentioned in my introductory post) it feels incredibly beautiful. Steemit represented a new beginning in my life, you come here for the money and end up making new friends and supporting really good projects or even forming part of a new one. I think I will do a recompilation of the best comments I have received in here, including the translations to English, because I really want to share how grateful and happy I am.
Maybe you are wondering why I decided to do this in English and not in Spanish, and that was the main point of this post. It's time for you to know why my 11th post is in English. There are some things that I can express in Spanish and some things that I can express in English. Have you read about that theory that says you have different personalities according to the language you are using in the moment? Well I think it's true, not because I want to believe it's truth but because I kind of feel it like that. There are some things that I can express just in English and not in Spanish, I tend to have a lot of thoughts just in English, thoughts related to my inner self: what I like the most about English is that you don’t have a genre, you are just an individual, a being, you are beyond than being a woman or man, you are more impersonal; it's like if English were more in contact with the "spiritual realm". So I think I could never be able to express all this in Spanish, I wouldn’t feel so comfortable like I do in English. In Spanish almost everything has a genre, you are classified, attached, "conditioned".
So this is the second time I come with an odd story in order to make myself understood, but what I want to say is that I will keep on doing these blog posts in English to tell you some of my thoughts and ideas more directly and freely unattached, I prefer doing blogging in English rather than in Spanish. Do you remember I told you that I had come to the conclusion that I am one of those people that need a diary in order to write all the ideas and not to lose them? Well, I have written down some of them (the moment they appear) on my cellphone and it has kind of worked, though some days ago my mind went faster than my hands and I forgot the dream, but it's ok, the fight with my memory is still going on (and it will be like that for a while hahah)
I you read till here: thank you very much! (: