Have you ever been asked a question and at that point you start to figure shit out about yourself and how fucked up and shitty your life is? I was having a chat with my dad the other day and he asked him what my plan was after college. So I started telling him things I wanted to do and things I thought would be great if I got into them. He stopped me halfway and said "I was not asking you about thoughts but your plans," he said " your thoughts are your thoughts and your plans are those things you've listed out with intentions of actualizing and bringing into reality " and at that moment it hit me; I don't have a plan, I don't have a fucking plan. Coming out of school and not having a specific idea of what next to do is what I always wished I don't go through. Growing up I wanted to be quite a lot of things, when I got to my teens I developed a love for music and programming which led to writing songs from when I was 13 and also learning a little bit of programming at 15. And then my life took a huge turn, I got into a college to study mathematics. I won't say I hate mathematics but it was my least favorite so, I decided to go on with the degree program. So the moment my dad asked me that question a lot of things were going through my mind, not been sure of what to say I decided to just talk some random shit that was on my mind. I also found out at that point that I had no plans for the things I love, I was just another 20-year-old living life with no plan on what to do next and that shit right there is scary. Back in school I usually told my friends that I was scared of life after school, I don't think the problem was me been scared but not been ready for it.
