I've wanted to start my writing a long long time ago but I have not got myself to do it.
Why not? You see, my zodiac sign is Virgo so in other words I'm a perfectionist. I would say that my perfectionism can at times be at unhealthy levels. In order to do something I have a tendency of having to do it "perfect". But honestly how can you get something perfect if you have not even started or given it a try? So as a result I usually stall or procastinate whatever I'm suppose to do. So in the end I end up not doing whatever I would love to do because I fear that the result won't be as I wish. I basically just end up in a bad loop that never ends .. It's pretty ironic isn't it?
But hey! Life's a journey right? We live and we learn they say and that's damn right! I have dark sides to me that I want to improve and I learn new things about myself every single day and strive for that self-improve. Yeah, I like to call it improve and not change cause I feel like the word "change" has a negative ring to it (but that it's probably caused by Fear, which I will write another post about). In other words Improvement seems better.
I would like to point out that the perfectionism I'm talking about here is not about physical appearances or anything shallow. What I'm talking about here is about being to harsh with yourself. For instance; You work on a painting and you just keep going over the smallest details over and over. Til' the point where you may even get a little but irritated or even frustrated because you just can't seem to get it perfect. And the essence of joy you had to begin with just disappear because of this "chase" of perfection.
Perfectionism can be a very good thing, don't get me wrong. It's when this perfectionism prevents you from something or becomes a inhibition then I think it does more harm than good. I really believe that life is about enjoying each single moment and just have fun. Unfortunately some of my own enjoyment can at times be ruined because of my inner voice who keeps telling me "No, this is not good enough. Try again!" And that little voice is probably my Ego (who also deserves an own post btw).
I don't know where I got this from. Maybe from my childhood? Growing up? I've realized that it does not matter. I have given up on figuring out why my thought patterns and pattern of behavior are the way they are. I don't think that digging in the past would do me any good. What I can and what I will focus on is here and now. Pay attention to my reactions, observe my emotions, do some adjustments and slowly break those patterns who does not serve me any good.
It's not an easy task but to be quite honest I don't think that it's that hard either. It demands that you have self-knowledge, you have to be willing to challenge yourself, see solutions instead of obstacles and to act upon it. With these four guidelines I've think that you will come a long way.
Without these process I think that we would just remain the same human being throughout our whole life. Without growing, without improving. Wouldn't the meaning of life go lost then?
For me I think it would. So that's why I'm saying *"Fuck perfectionisme!" once and for all. I don't want to be a part of it. Now is the time to get into all the things I've always wanted to do but this perfectionism got me stalling. So fuck you perfectionism!
Who is with me?!