A Toxic Person

can be anyone you know. Odds are, most of us currently have, or have had, a toxic person sucking the life out of us. If you have never experienced what that is like, you are incredibly fortunate. If you are part of the population that is dealing with someone sucking the life out of you, I hope I can guide you towards freeing yourself from their crippling grasp.

The Short Answer

So, what is the magic spell that banishes these people? CUT THEM OFF.
'But Bink, it is not that simple. You can't cut off everyone that easy!'
You're right, but I got you. Let me tell you about my own experience: I had that exact problem. The most toxic person in my life was someone most people could never even imagine cutting off: my mom. I heard it all from everyone.
'Bink, you can't just never talk to her again, that's your mom.'
'Bink, she's done so much for you, how can you just ignore her?'
'Don't you think you and your siblings made her crazy sometimes too?'
Sure, all of these things may be true, but I had to make the decision: her satisfaction or my happiness. I chose the latter. I will spare you the details.

It is true that cutting off someone, especially if they were close to you, is pretty difficult. I still juggle the guilt every now and then. But if needs to be done, this is how.

Ignore Them

If the toxic person in your life is just that jerk at work, simply ignore them. Do not let them bother you, do not talk to them, do not look at them. Just pretend they do not exist. Eventually you will completely forget about their existence and they will catch the hint and move on to torturing someone else. Your peace and happiness is not worth giving in to this person, and that is exactly what they want from you, do not give them that satisfaction.

Block Them

If ignoring them is not working and they are calling, texting or messaging you, attacking you for ignoring them, it's time to start the blocking. Block everything. That's right, everything. E-mail, Facebook, Instagram, phone number, beeper number, fax number, Myspace, Linkedin, Playstation network, ALL OF IT. Now this person cannot digitally harass you or contact you in any way. Plus you cannot see if they post anything that could possibly be toxic to you. It's worth it and saves you a lot of grief. And if they find you anywhere else, block them again. They will search for you anywhere and do anything to know what you are doing.

You should also tell mutual friends and/or family members to respectfully keep your life private from this person. You will be surprised how many people will support your decision.

Last Resort

If this person begins to show up at your home or starts any kind of stalking behaviors, you have every right to call the police and trespass them. Explain to the police the efforts you have put in to avoid this person and how they are continuing to pursue you even though you clearly want nothing to do with them. Hopefully it never gets this far, but sometimes it does. You have to be prepared for anything, especially if you're dealing with a special type of creep who just refuses to let you live happily.

What If?

There are plenty of what-ifs that apply to this, so I will try to cover the ones that I feel will happen most often.

What if I have to see this person often like at work, school, or family functions?

If this person continues to harass you at work or school, even after you have made it clear that you want nothing to do with them, contact HR or any type of authority that can take further action for you. Continue to avoid this person at all times even if that means different shifts or schedule changes. If none of this works, you will have to consider if your grief is worth putting up with this person.

When it comes to family and family functions, you have a few options. Go to the function and be as cordial as possible. If they approach you, keep the conversation short and sweet. I mean that as literally as possible, keep it nice. If they attack you, separate yourself from the situation and leave. Let them yell at the walls instead. If the event isn't very important to you, simply stay home.

What if no one is willing to help and nothing is alleviating the situation?

This is when you need to consider moving on from whatever it is. Maybe to a new job, address, or to a new state like I did. I know that sounds a bit extreme and can be a financial set back, but it is up to you to determine if you can live with that person in your life.

What if my other friends/family hate me for it?

Honestly, there will most likely be push back if the person you are trying to cut off is a close friend or family member, but it is out of concern, not hate. And if people do begin to take sides and treat you differently because you took steps to better your life, move on from them too. Like I said before, you will be surprised with the amount of support you get. A lot of people can see the toxic behaviors of that person, and will be happy for you. Others who do not see what goes on behind the scenes will have their eyes opened once you explain why you chose to rid yourself of that toxic person and will ultimately have your back.

What if I don't want to go as far as contacting the police?

Totally understandable, If you feel you can handle confronting this person face-to-face, absolutely go for it. Make sure you communicate to them that you do not want them in your life. It is your right to give them a reason why or not, I personally feel that is up to you. You owe this person nothing.

Tough Self-Love

Cutting someone off to this extent absolutely can be extreme and harsh, but I promise you, it was one of the best decisions I have made. No one is saying to run away from your problems and you are not a coward for cutting someone off, regardless of who they are. I cannot stress enough how important your own mental health and happiness are, and you have to see the value in them in order to decide whether or not a toxic human is worth them.

Start your new year off fresh and free from the toxicity! You deserve to be at peace!

This is all personal opinion based on my own experience. I am not an expert by any means, just trying to help!