Hi anyone reading, good day to you.
A sudden realization just came to my mind as I was watching a movie. So yeah I am currently unemployed, no income, trading in red, no motivation, no confidence, living not a proud life, but at least I am not having any suicide thought now. If you've been reading my story you would know my depressed life with my job to the extent that I kept on having suicide thoughts and small attempts, I am however now stressed with my unemployed no income life but not to the extent of getting depressed and wanting to commit suicide. This sudden realization makes me feel so much better of myself right now cause even if I am in my state now, I at least am happier and will be able to grow in a healthier direction. I am planning to find a job in 2 more months to help out at my dad's shop next month as it will be a busy month, then maybe I'll find a job that I actually like and find my career there. I still don't have any idea on what job I will want, but it'll be a journey to find. Too bad I am not making any progress as a trader though.
I've been feeling inferior these few months due to the situation I am in, looking at my friends starting to make something out of their career, I just feel bad about myself. Thinking about it now, this is actually me taking my time recovering from my depression. Sick people are allowed to take time off their career and heal their body back to health, like if I didn't suffer from depression but cancer, I would still have to take the time off and recover from it. I don't know if this is an excuse, but I do acknowledge with certainty that I suffered depression during those time and I am recovering from it now. 休息是为了走更长远的路 taking a rest/break is for walking a longer journey, I am taking my time resting and I'll be back stronger than ever, this time I'll not compromise my mental health for a job, this time I'll say what I want and do what I want.
