Sigh... It happened again: another passing passion driving by me. I bought this kantele a while ago, even livestreamed me playing it, but now I haven't played in weeks, until now: I picked it up, played few chords, but felt nothing, no inspiration whatsoever. It's a beautiful instrument, but when I feel nothing, then that's just how it is, can't help it. I know that in many cases inspiration isn't always to be waited, but is found while working, like I have observed to happen with writing, but now playing, it didn't happen.
This is the reason why I don't like/shouldn't by much new stuff because it only ends up with getting bored/disinterested in it. Not always, but it's a pattern that has occurred often enough. Well, at least my father likes the kantele. I guess this will be the second instrument that will end up in his use. Yes, years ago I bought an electric guitar, played it for some time, got bored, and now my dad plays it regularly – at least somebody uses them.
But the fact that I can't keep an interest towards playing like my father, has eaten me and I need to admit that it makes me envy. Sometimes I've gotten irrationally annoyed by myself when my father plays something, like the kantele, but I realized that it's just me projecting my own dissatisfaction of myself towards him. I guess it's one of those forbidden aspects of myself I have not acknowledged existing in me. Time to integrate another part of the shadow, that includes the aspects of oneself one has denied the existence of, to my persona as could be said in terms of psychology.
At least I have words to play with. Interesting how playing is used all for doing games, instruments and acting in English. Maybe that's the only thing that'll last: writing. It is a thing that I've carried with me for a considerable time now, and with cultivation I've gotten myself to write increasingly more and more during these past months. It has been work, but in the end, satisfying, especially with the ability of having a complete freedom here. I think that is one thing that people might forget to appreciate: they can do whatever they want without the fear of being censored, at least as easily as in YouTube for example, and with a growing set of apps all the time, there are more and more options what people can do in the Steem blockchain: videos, audio files, freelancing. Even memes have few dedicated apps.
Sure, you could upload videos to Youtube or write a blog on your own domain, nothing wrong with them though. I've actually considered the latter, especially now that there's Steempress plugin that curates its users that publishes Wordpress blogs automatically to the Steem blockchain, but haven't gotten into the technicalities and how it could be set up with a phone because that'll be what I'm going to post from when I'm on the road in couple of months.
But for some reason I don't even want to keep my videos public in Youtube; I always hide them so that only those who have a direct link to it can watch it. I mean, there are so fantastic people here and I can't still understand how this place got me to meet some of you in real life. I mean, how does such sense of unity form in YouTube, Reddit or Facebook? Surely meet ups have happened via those too, but personally those places just have not succeeded to engage me the way this place has done it.
Even though having been here only under a year, I consider this place the most successful social media for me.
Well, that's it for some evening thoughts, I'll give myself a relaxing moment now finally, watch an episode from Netflix, eat, and go to sleep.
Later, bye.