I know very well that I have made many mistakes, that everything I have done has been wrong;
But, I really can not keep living like this. (Ana, at 20 years old, about to
commit suicide)
10 years ago
Run, Ana, run ...
And that was it, just silence and tranquility; you could perceive what was coming, and I knew it,
but never pay attention to it. The day had started very sunny, the birds were walking
Here and there, children ran, except me; she was always in the shade of an oak
very high, in which I felt at peace; but on that occasion it was different, one of the children
I was running around calling him, I completely ignored him, (I preferred to stay sitting
writing, although for them it was not normal for a girl my age).
Come on Ana, get up, come and play ...
The truth was that these words were strange to me, let's say that I was a kind of
marginal, preferred to be alone; although if I think about it better, it would have been better to get up
when he told me. I thought for a few minutes, and I went, but, something had happened, listen
screams, everyone ran, I did not understand what was happening, and I did nothing more than stay there looking at
all run desperately; I felt a cold hand that I take and halo with a lot
force, then, BOOM. !! An explosion, and I lost consciousness.
I remember waking up, I was covered in blood, I looked around, and everyone
they cried, shouted and lamented because their relatives had apparently died.
God, my mother!
To my mind came his clear image in the kitchen of the house, preparing the cakes that both
I like them, waiting for me to come back and then try to talk to me, although
knew that I would remain silent; I cried like never before in my life, I wanted to understand that
It was what was happening, but nobody answered my questions, they just walked from one
side to side trying to ignore me.
At that moment I realized that if I did not leave from there by myself, nobody would help me
to discover what was happening; and so I decided; wait until nightfall, and
when nobody was in sight, I took a bottle of water, I kept it in my skirt, and
start the road It was then that I started my steps on that cloudy path and
cold I started thinking about my mother, if she was alive, or just would not exist anymore,
I remembered my father, whom I never knew, but in spite of that, I would have liked
know; BOOM. !!, God no, again, I could not find where to run, I only saw lights
in the sky moving quickly, shots were heard, screams without stopping, and there it was, came
towards me a troop of soldiers, I thought - Ok, they will surely help me - but no,
when I raise my hands to ask for help, one of them pointed his rifle at me and shot
(that fragment of a second in which to spend your life in front of your eyes), never
I will forget I threw myself to the ground as fast as I could, but the bullet grazed my cheek, I was
Bleeding, but I could not stop myself had to continue in spite of everything. There was a river to
the distance, and I ran towards it, I submerged, and saw how the bullets passed to me
aside, I only implored because none of them could touch me, and I held my breath
I could, until the lights disappeared; pull my head slowly out of the water and
everything looked desolate, but I could still see in the distance people addressing a
camp, I did not want to look back, and I just hid under some branches, and there
wait until dawn.
That night was the worst of my life, I could hear from the distance all those screams with
great lament, weeping with great despair; I felt great helplessness when I could not do
Nothing, and I just let my tears fall while I sunk into a dream.
Present
Come on Ana, wake up, it's time to go to class, we'll be late again.
And that's my cousin, Karen, always wanting to be punctual. I just got up, and always
the same routine, going to the bathroom, brushing me, seeing myself in a mirror (I do not know why he always did it
really), go down to breakfast, and well, go out, I guess that's how my life would be
20 years.
Already on the way to college, my cousin was talking like crazy, always trying to make me
laugh and find me some suitor (the truth is that I always ignored her, but
surreptitiously).
Hey come (scream with a big smile my little cousin), look I introduce you to Erick
(Wow, wow, I thought immediately, but I went with the flow)
Hello Erick (I answered a little flushed)
A taste Ana, I hope we get along
Actually from that moment, to hear those words from those lips so fleshy and
perfect, I did not stop thinking about him, it was like a nightmare hanging around my head, if I know,
bad choice of words, but in my life nightmares governed my mind.
Tin Tin; my cell phone rang, wait, it was a message from Erick, (but, who gave him my number);
shout:
Karen! You gave my number to Erick?
No prima, (I answer with a doubtful voice)
I knew I was behind all this, but I decided to leave things like that, and I remembered,
the message, look and say:
Maybe you're already sleeping, or maybe you're looking at this strangely,
I never had the courage to ask for your number, I just wanted to tell you that since you
I knew I have not stopped thinking about you, and I would very much like you to allow me
meet. (end of quote)
(OH MY GOD); I could not believe what was happening, I really liked it,
liked? Really?), Well, it seemed, but I did not answer; I really thought that only
It would be a simple game that would not be worth it. Only a few minutes passed and I stayed
asleep.
To be continue...