I have often heard that worrying is like praying for bad things to happen. This makes total and complete sense, in theory. When put into practice however, being the mother of two children who do not exactly blend into the walls, this is easier said than done. I tried to calculate all of the hours I spent worrying about this or that, how many nights I tossed and turned, how many times I waited up for children to come home or sometimes not. It was impossible to gauge. I'm pretty sure two best sellers could have been written, I could have traveled the world several times over, possibly taken hot yoga or belly dancing or even heck not rolled my eyes at my neighbor next door daily. I worried about high school tuition payments and curfews never being kept and teenage pregnancies and the most ridiculous of things. I opened my eyes one day and my son was 21 and my daughter turning 20. Nobody was pregnant or in prison. Sure, we had our problems, but who doesn't, I just don't hide them or lie about them. Here I was a mom, who had finally decided not to worry anymore. Let the chips fall where they may.
Let's be real, a lot could go wrong. When I look back at my own life a lot did go wrong but my mother worrying did not change the course of my actions. Nor will my worrying change the course of my children's. What will replace fear and worry and micromanaging and "hashing things out?" I'm not sure. This is unchartered water but I do know that there are a lot of really great things I could be doing with all of that time and energy instead of concerning myself with the consequences of this or that action. We all have our own destiny and we cannot choose another's for them or want it for them more than they want it for themselves. The best thing we can do for others is to stop worrying about them and start taking better care of ourselves. On that note, I'm starting a new Series and not worrying about what colors I am missing in my palate today. Enjoy.
