Are you?
Am I?
Depression is supposedly a strong, very strong word. It banishes people to their highest level of despair, suppressing the lowest level of happiness, draining the slightest positivity, banning the existence of happiness. Of course it's exaggerated, however might be true depending on the level of depression growing inside.
Depression used to be a very rare word only described by professionals in the field and people diagnosed, "used to". Nowadays the word Depression is as rare as cars on a Monday morning traffic, you can literally* see the word on every social media provided you have any friends on it and for me it just makes the word lose its essence.
You can see so much value on the word Depressed now that it is able to substitute sadness, slight stress, things not going your way, bored, annoyed and a lot more. If ever the word Depressed makes it into cryptocurrency trading I'm sure its value will be higher than Bitcoin. Although you need to judge wisely, some of those crying for attention posts might be a true call for help post. Lend a helping hand to any friend of yours depressed, some do ask for help, some keep it for themselves.
I have depressive thoughts since I was a child although I did have quite a happy childhood, with family, friends and comfort around me. It just comes and goes, never really bothered my childhood. On the age of 23 now, it feels like a very stressful (stressful, not depressed) age to be in. Graduated college, working experience for 4 years (I attended night classes), looking ahead in life no longer 1 year ahead to school's final exam or 6 months ahead to college's new semester but somewhere far where you need to buy cars, houses, get married, giving your parents a comfortable retirement life and a lot lot more. These thoughts stuck with me since I was a child, not only appeared in these recent years of my life, it's just the realization is getting more and more real and all the childhood depressive thoughts is compiled together coming in strong and full.
I looked around my friends, same aged and older, almost all of them have these thoughts, therefore I should feel normal, the problem is I find myself unable to handle it as well as them. My own subjective thought of this is they are having these thoughts like when I had it in my childhood, it comes and goes, while I am now crushed under it like shouldering a giant rock. Is it that I'm weak being unable to handle these little stress? Therefore I looked it up and made a research (by research, it's not just googling for 10 minutes and done) then found out that depression is not only psychologically caused, but can also be biologically and one of them is the brain unable to produce Serotonin. This assures me a bit that I am not weak, but I do have problems inside me.
To be honest, I have never talked to anyone about this, not even my family. I recently got interested in cryptocurrency thus bringing me to Steemit and found a story/blog feature, learning about cryptocurrency helps me a lot keeping my mind occupied. Thought I might writing this to relieve some of my burden as I feel very uncomfortable telling it to anyone or crying for attention on social media, here on Steemit, though I know it's not anonymous, none of the person I know knows about this website and thus I tried to write something. I don't feel comfortable receiving encouragement or attention, therefore I kept this to myself, but as much as being uncomfortable, deep inside me still wants a tiny bit of attention. Deep inside me just hopes for someone to know how I feel and comes to me, gives me a hug and just tell me I Know.