Anybody can make you happy by doing something special for you, like sending you a gift on your birthday. But if someone is special to you they can make you happy by doing nothing. By just being with you and their presence is a delight to your soul.

This is the essence of true love. It's based on being, not doing. A person who truly loves you enjoys your personality, not just your performance.

Performance based relationships are tiresome. If you settle for them you will get exhausted eventually even if you had some affection for the person. Of course it doesn't mean you'll remain passive and inattentive to the needs of someone you love. Your love will obviously drive you to do all you can for them, but you will be doing things because you're loved by them, not so that you can win their love.

This may seem like a small difference but it's not.

The lady makes it clear that for the man to win her love he must give her money. And the man doesn't see the reverse order he's being hooked into and so he signs up for a performance based relationship. Five or ten years in and babies between them, he loses his job for a while and suddenly he's being treated like trash. Did the lady change? No, this was a performance based relationship.

Or a man complains how the lady expects him to love her when she cannot give sex before they get married and she naively signs up for performance based relationship. The day she cannot perform he stops loving her.

Again, he didn't change. That was the kind of relationship they had.

In summary, you want the kind of love where 'deep calls to deep.' You want each other for who you are. Your vibe. Your thoughts and ideas. Your compassion. Your perspectives.

Your human ambience.

These are the kind of things that are at the core of who you are and even when you can't perform temporarily, you're still deeply loved because you're loved for a reason greater than doing.

You're loved for your being.

Stay Safe, CHEERS

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