You should always prefer a nanny who has a considerable level of education and enlightenment. One who has the capacity to understand psychological concepts like the effects of one's tone on the child's confidence.

What difference will an enlightened nanny bring? To introduce a better self talk to a child. Remember they can only pass on to the child what they have themselves.

Self talk is the programming language for self concept.

And self concept is the operating system for each person. Everything you do in life is a projection of your self concept. You can never earn more than your self concept, or try anything above it, or love beyond it. Self concept is the thermostat for how you live life.

This is the idea. One job of a nanny is to protect the child from harming themselves and causing damage in the house. So most nannies will interpret this to mean constraining the child from doing anything. The child constantly hears 'No! Don't touch that! Stop it! Go back! What are you doing?'

What does this do to the child? Of course, it discourages exploration and kills initiative. It plants fear of trying and communicates that in order to be approved and liked by grown ups, the child should try nothing. This is the programming that makes children become fearful and timid. And many grow into adults who look for safety rather than adventure and innovation.

So with an educated nanny can teach them the concept of self talk and exploration. They can grasp the idea that to the child all grownups are authorities and what comes from the 'aunty' is not any different from what comes from mommy or daddy. So they should learn to instruct and guide without shouting, scaring and prohibiting everything.

One reason the West is ahead economically is because in many cases parents babysit their own children and so they do a better job. They can instil initiative and confidence early.

A worker fears being punished for breakages and so they may unintentionally restrict the child too much. A parent, on the other hand, has more leeway to balance between the need for safety and the need for trying new things even if it costs a few breakages.

You too, try babysitting yourself as much as your circumstances can allow. And when you have to get help, don't just go for the cheapest option. Get someone who can grasp the concept of a child's mental health and self concept. One who can allow room for the child to try things even with a few damages here and there, for the purposes of keeping the child exploring.

The aim is to give your children the kind of startup in life that they will reap from, as opposed to one they will need to heal from.

Stay Safe, CHEERS

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