Hi all friends, in my first post, I want to tell my experience first.
Four or five years ago I was an explosive person. At that time my ambition was about how to reach the peak of a career quickly, get the highest degree and then reach the top of a position. Thus I can be a "person".
But now, I feel God is very good. Instead of granting and paving the way for ambition, God foiled me many times. I failed the Fourth Diploma, I failed UPKP twice, I never called diklat I was not close to the officials.
God apparently deflected my lifeline, reminding me that my lifeline is not like that. God then invites me to meet people who in his life no longer pursue ambition, people who since the young abundant effort to benefit others.
Is it wrong to have high ambitions? No, that's just a matter of preference kog.
At this age, my college graduates are climbing the ladder of ambition. Race to continue master, vying to resign and seek a better livelihood, vying to seek self-actualization and recognition. Ambition that made me shake my head salute, respectfully submissive.
While I am, yes like this. Departure to the office, go home, write, sleep, then play like a vicious circle. The routine is pretty boring is not it?
The failures of the exam did not become a whip for me, it opened my eyes that my path was not there, apparently in the life of the road it was forked, weaved.
But do not you want to go to college S2 overseas? Yes want, but I mah go with the flow.
Currently my wife is more likely to continue the S2 level first, as my husband would support, give support, provide support. For now, my high school ambitions change with the ambition of helping my wife go to high school.
My wife has been fully supportive of my activities traveling and writing, it is appropriate that I pay for it by supporting his career. If graduating from S2, I am willing to take leave outside state dependent to accompany wife to continue his studies.
I'm realistic, I can only officially resume S2 lecture in 2017, if among us there is a chance more quickly why not give the opportunity? Yes it is not.
As a man I can not be selfish, my wife has a chance and I have to support her. The choice to go forward should not be disturbed because of identity as a wife. If I have progress in writing, the wife must also have progress in career.
I am self conscious, if my wife later my career is higher I was ready to give in. I am ready to become a houseboy, I who live at home, take care and raise children. Because my career, intellectually, my wife far surpassed me as her husband.
My brother is currently being selection S2, hopefully smoothly and he can immediately to South Korea, the country of his dreams. If my wife and my sister passed it all, am I not more proud as a husband and brother?
Sacrifice
When I freely volunteered for Account Representative and went back to being an executive whose job was just picking up the phone, losing millions, then at that point I was ready with the consequences that I would no longer pursue a career, I did not pursue self-confession.
Self-confession does not arise from self, it arises from others. People who want self-confession will want to stand out, but people who are recognized by others do not have to struggle to make themselves stand out, people will respect first.
I've achieved everything as a Represantive Account, Everest I've accomplished. There is no higher mountain than Everest, so I decided to dive. Back to being the executor, again struggling to work from scratch.
If my ambition is looming, of course I will remain as Account Representative, then mutation to Bandung, to be the best. In Garut, when all indicators of individual achievement as Account Representative I have exceeded, ironically I was unable to help the office achieve pencapainnya. As an individual I succeed, as one entity fails and I should not be proud of my individual achievements.
It turned out to sacrifice one thing, open another rainbow. I can get closer with my wife, I know more people, writing offer wide open anyway so I work according to passion. Want to know my work now? Taking care of the social media account of the institution where I work, is not it fun?
Above this I have to be very, very grateful because after becoming executor again, as an individual I become more complete. Mastery rules are more eloquent, learning more communication skills, organically I feel I am a screw that moves the organization. I have not achieved much individual achievement in my office right now, but I feel I am complaining for the sake of the organization and I am quite satisfied with it.
Back to Jakarta I learned again that performance, work and persistence work are things that make a person have value in the eyes of others. Although in Jakarta I also learned that malignant people make use of connections, ferociously using tongues to lick for value in the eyes of others, ferociously selling themselves to get what they want.
Ah, again that's a matter of preference. I prefer that work is a carrying and carrying value is the key. Licking can indeed make a person get taller, but what is not worried about saliva will dry if too much lick?
Jumping?
I am not unwilling to jump, I want but there are norms that I must respect. Twice I was offered to turn away, twice I can not say yes. When I tried to ask for blessings, in the corner of the village in Magelang, Ibu ngendika "You do not go out, you remain a civil servant."
Mother's voice is God's Voice.
What can I do if you do not give your blessing? Do I want to fight the words of my mother who gave birth to me, raising me as a single parent when left by Dad, praying at midnight? Yes it is not.
It turned out that Mom asked me to be more grateful, more to see what I have accomplished, asking to be more down, ah happy. It's okay I stay downstairs, but Mother's prayer is always abundant, it's okay I do not go forward, as long as Mother still gives blessing.
About the power of my mother's blessing has never felt it. In junior high school I was desperate to go without Mother's blessing to Merbabu. What happens, big storms, heavy rains, sick friends on the climb. Coming home I can only cry sobbing apologies.
Ambition
Many also say I am being used by others, I am too good, I can not refuse. It's okay, yes that's how I've always been, what should I do?
I am always happy to see other people have the ambition of success in its own way. It is not utilizing the facilities of others.
There was a friend whom I admired, quietly out of his place of work, then studying in Europe there, self-reliant. From Bantul to Europe, it was a hard struggle that brought results. This guy is very clever since college, I am amazed with his intelligence and I learn English from him. After graduation I have never met, but since college I saw clearly his eyes sparkle to move forward.
Although now I can only hear the story from others because we have not communicated for a long time and may hesitate. But I am proud and happy that my friend can pursue his dream, with his courage. Something I can not do.
In this increasingly opportunistic world, God is beautiful. Giving me a way of turning and I became more aware, it turns out my ambition is only one that is becoming a human being useful other people. Somehow.