i fail so many times,
just now i saw her status that made me, well... over beaten by my own hopes towards her. I know, don't get attached to deep to others and don't put hope on someone else. By the end of the day, we just all human that never fulfill our promises and our hopes. From previous failures i never learn anything i guess besides trusting is a crucial thing.
But love ... I hardly to understand one bit
besides Don't ever cheat. Well, that never gets me anywhere further nor closer to anything i hope it would be. Without her, i might give up everything i work for. She asks me to keep going and fight what you believed in.
It's not I'm afraid or doesn't want to see her.
the reason I'm afraid, that my self. being a failure. Who love to be someone with failure that doesn't have anything from money to car. I'm to shy to meet her because i don't have anything to offer. My skills? well my skills doesn't get me thousands of dollars and I'll bet she will not impressed with that.
I felt like dejavu like last 2 years.
Where i pack my all things and start living at kl hoping getting a better life with some trusted friends. But at the end, i just got used when im at k.l for personal gain. But this year i don't know what is these feelings that im feeling right now. It's a little bit mix with sad, confused what to do or speak or think, feeling empty, feeling that i wanted to give up everything just sit back and watch what ever crap out there thats on tely, im going to watch just to fill in my empty time.
I don't write for a few days...
because I just ... (breath out hardly)
felt down, hopeless, felt like checkmate. I don't know what else to do.....
My recent collab with other company called daimix media isn't working as i plan to be. They promised me that im doing videos and all about videos. Turns out i'm handling website. They promised me to get client from travel agencies. Well like i said, never put your trust on people 100% because at the end we all just a human with full of mistakes and unfulfill promises.
So, i must go out before i spend more times on revenue with zero. From my experience, when ship start to sink halfway, don't be a hero to safe the whole ship, take whatever you can and jump out to safety distance when the ships started to sink, it will suck you down for awhile or alot longer because of the vacuum created by that ship. So i jump out with my time and spend it somewhere else.
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