Hi, guys!
So today is the third day since I left the hospital. It is still very difficult for me to control my body, and this is what annoys me the most. After spending more than 3 weeks there, the muscles seem to have become unusable, and now even just to move around, I have to make a huge amount of effort. As a person who regularly goes in for sports, it really annoys me. I hope that soon I will be able to fix all this, I understand that now I need to start with something small, like taking regular walks with my dog. Although it seems to me that even for this I don’t have the strength, but I know that they need to be found so that after each walk it will become more and more, and little by little I will recover.
Of course, the dog is ready to support me, she was generally very happy when I returned. While I was in the hospital, my husband and I sometimes communicated by telegram via video communication, and she looked for me on the screen and looked for me in the speakers, because she heard that my voice was coming from somewhere. When my husband brought my things that I gave to the wash, she dug into them for a long time, perhaps hoping to find her mistress there. It is very touching, now she almost never moves away but does not leave me sleeping with me walks with me does everything with me together, and I am sure that she will be glad to walk with me too, despite the fact that it is quite cool outside. We have winter, winter with snow.
Now for me the most difficult thing is to cope with my own emotions about the fact that it is difficult for me to control my body. I'm not used to it. I am used to the fact that everything is easy for me, because I regularly go in for sports. Now I need to somehow return to my sports activities, And I understand that I will come and be the weakest in the group, and I’m not even to blame for that. It’s a terrible feeling. But somehow it is necessary to come to terms with him, because if you do not return, then everything will remain as it is now, just a weak body that I cannot control and this is terrible.
It's even strange how quickly these things happen when you, my illustrator guru Yana Frank, told me about how quickly muscles atrophy. It seemed incredible to me, but now I see that indeed a few weeks is enough to significantly lose muscle mass and significantly lose my physical data. It is necessary to return them besides physical data, I still have musical data, I have not yet returned to rehearsals with my teachers and have not returned to rehearsals on my own, but this also needs to be done. Go back to vocals, go back to playing saxophone guitar, piano flute. This is all that makes me happy. And now I do not have enough strength even for one of these activities, so I will have to choose one which I will slowly return to slowly, I think that now it will not be a saxophone because after the hospital I am still annoyed by loud sounds.
I try to calm myself down a bit and focus on household chores, for example, I haven't cooked this whole month. And today I am planning to cook a wonderful dinner, something light but tasty because the food that was in the hospital was disgusting. Therefore, now I will go to the kitchen and this is what I will do and I hope that it will keep my morale at the level :)
See you in the next post!
Love, Inber