Hi, guys!
So, I am slowly but surely returning to normal life. In any case, I really want to believe this, because dozens of times it has already turned out that this is not at all the case. But maybe you will be lucky this time? Maybe I will still be able to start working calmly, without overloading, avoiding disruptions, without bringing myself to total breakdowns?
Sounds like something out of reach. This is always the case with bipolar disorder, especially in severe cases like mine. There is nothing pleasant about it, the only pleasant moment in bipolar disorder is the moment when hypomania occurs for a short time. Pure mania, especially psychotic, and depression, especially deep, are absolutely unproductive states.
To be completely honest, I am still unproductive, and very unproductive. At the moment, this is not due to any particular phase of my disorder, but to the attempts of my doctor to keep me within the normal range. At the moment, this is very difficult, since bipolar disorder is always a pendulum, and if it has already swung, it is difficult, long and difficult to stop this process, and because of the large number of pills, not that the quality of life deteriorates, but rather life falls dead ...
The reason is simple - very high doses of stabilizing drugs, and now I have really high doses. I recently came out of a very high point of mania, and now my doctor and I have to undercut the depression that always follows it. It will not be possible to completely avoid this in any case, but we can try to soften this process.
Recently, I was again suggested by a "well-wisher" to stop taking pills and just "do yoga." It always amazes me that people immediately assume that I am not doing anything like that, I am leading a bad lifestyle, and everything can be corrected by correcting nutrition and so on.
That's bullshit. Moreover, delirium is worse than the one that occurs in my mania. People are generally interesting. I wonder how you are supposed to do yoga when you have already started hallucinations? True, I want to note right away that I eat normally, go in for sports, in short, in general, I follow all their stupid recommendations. The problem is, it doesn't work that way. All these wonderful things, of course, make the condition a little easier, but in no way fix it completely. It is completely corrected with medication, and even then not always.
By the way, my dog is gradually recovering, and already easily and naturally jumps onto my bed. I hope that it will be just a few more days before we can walk again.
Take care of yourself and your loved ones.
See you in the next post!
Love, Inber