I just saw a post on Facebook from this guy, not sure how big an internet phenomenon he is, but yeah, read on:
https://www.facebook.com/Markmansonnet/posts/1012824452179861
On a whim I thought I'd contribute and after writing so much, I thought that I'd just share my verbal diarrhoea with you all too :)
Enjoy!
Jess
First up, Congratulations! My husband and I just had our first kid a year ago and now with another person thrown into the mix, we really need to put extra effort into the relationship to make sure that we don't get stressed out and tired from the LIFE of it all.
pay attention to each other - even if you're so tired and you've had 0 hours of sleep, falling asleep on each other and showing that you haven't been listening to what the other has said is a sure-fire argument starter and marriage killer.
be comfortable with each other - some people will tell you that you need to have SOME secrets, whether you don't dare to pee with her in the shower, or take a dump or even fart under the covers, sometimes, being THAT open with each other will take your relationship to another level
be HONEST - but know when to shut up. you can spare each other's feelings, but don't LIE to get yourself out of a sticky situation. Sometimes saying that you're not comfortable to comment on something is better than saying some absolute farce trying to get out of a more elaborate conversation.
(in reference to the above) don't hide your feelings - you can choose not to talk about something, but be truthful about why. you might be able to get away from having to answer the question if you're honest about how it makes you feel. e.g.: "can we not talk about why i'm scared of spiders? just talking about it makes me feel nauseous,", "I dont' want to talk about my bad day NOW. I need to sort out my feelings. I may want to talk to you about it later, but please give me some time."
Make the effort to keep it together - don't be afraid to fight. To argue, to discuss heatedly, to shout, and even throw things about ... I believe that you never truly know a person until you've seen them so raging mad they're willing to hurt something. It's better to be in that argument voicing out your opinions than keeping quiet and hoping the problems will all blow away. Always aim to SOLVE rather than Gloss over...
TRUST IN YOUR LOVE - And the biggest BIGGEST part of how to make a marriage work, or any relationship for that matter, is knowing that underneath the shit ugliness, bad times and worse times, sickness and poverty etc etc, you have each other's back. No matter how bad the argument is, that you're in it to the end. The minute you give up fighting for each other is the moment that love dies. Don't EVER think that the other person is out to get you. Know in your heart that you truly want the best for each other and that you will always love each other no matter what shit may come.
I did NOT expect this list to be so long. But once I started, I just couldn't stop. It brought back some memories for me and just writing this has made my faith in my marriage grow so much. So before I sign off, thank you for posting this challenge to the internet. <3 And congratulations again!