Breast milk, liquid gold, what every mother should give her little bundle of joy right? Well in some cases. Wait wait wait before you come for me hear my story. After breastfeeding my daughter for 18 months the beautiful process has become a stressful one for me. My daughter wants milk every damn second it feels like! When she first came into this world all I could think of doing is skin to skin and praying that she would latch on and guess what she did, it was such a beautiful experience. Watching her find my breast by herself as she lay on my chest I couldn’t really believe what I was seeing. I had a c-section and read horror stories of the connection not being so great because it took half an hour for the doctors to give her to me. I’ve read and even talked to other mothers about how they just couldn’t produce milk or the baby wouldn’t latch for nothing. With all beauty comes pain and dry chapped raw red burning nipples I’ve never felt that type of pain before. Of course I was super into all natural products so I found this nipple cream it kind of worked but still felt like my nipples were gonna fall off.
This stuff works good use after EACH feeding
It was easy for about 8 or 9 months in but after that I realized since I had her I’ve been glued in bed or my rocking chair and felt my ass caving into my back. She was nursing like crazy! I felt like the best mom ever because not only is the doctors and nurses telling you that you’re a great mother for breastfeeding so is your family and friends. I then fell into a depression that led me to try the one thing everyone tried to avoid and myself, FORMULA!
I made my daughter her first formula bottle, mind you she’s only used a bottle once with my pumped milk because I was taking her to an appointment. Her doctor seen me give her the bottle and insisted that I stopped at once and just continue to breastfeed of fear she would get nipple confusion. So like a good patient I listened until she was 8 months. I pumped again hoping to give myself a break. Ya that didn’t happen she fought me so hard that I threw the damn thing and whipped my titty out just to keep her happy and quiet. I felt like a failure and ultimately stuck. I tried a few more times but she wouldn’t give in so I gave up.
Breastfeeding is supposed to be a beautiful thing but once it’s starts becoming a hassle of holding your damn near 30 pound child in your lap it gets annoying irritating and if you ain’t right as a mother then you just ain’t right. I talked to my mom about it and watched videos, they made it seem like it was either easy to stop or just continue to do it until she’s 2. I feel like if I continue to do this until she’s two years old then she’s gonna keep fighting me until she’s 3 and so on. I’ll end up being one of those moms you see in the magazines breastfeeding an 8 year old. I mean do your thing but that definitely isn’t going to be me I refuse.
Believe me I do feel terrible she loves her mommy’s milk I do love the bond but when I tell you I haven’t had one break I mean it no friends no dinner dates no movies no bar night not one day I’ve been away from my daughter for more than an hour when I go to the gym. Some may consider that’s enough of a break but I barely get to make it there. Mothers need a few hours away from their children to collect themselves and have some adult fun. I remember when my brother had his daughter they would have date nights and I’d watch their kids for a few hours. They would come back home looking so happy, refreshed and ready to be great parents again. I wanted to look and feel refreshed! My mom started to make me feel a little guilty because she would say, “but she loves her milk” that right there was annoying and would crush my heart at the same damn time.
My whole point is listen to your body, maybe practice with a bottle a little sooner and don’t let people make decisions for you it’s all up to you and your happiness and the baby’s health. It’s work, hard work but practice makes perfect. I’m still in the process of trying to ween my daughter, I guess I’m in too deep but we’ll figure it out until then I’m grateful I was actually able to breastfeed my baby girl and she’s super healthy happy and beautiful.
ALL LOVE STEEMIANS