A guy enters the room, he stares at the floor, he avoids eye contact and quickly shuffles to the back of the room.
He kept glancing at the people chatting with each other, he wishes to make a move, but he didn't. A beautiful lady caught his eye. 'Oh she look so damn hot' he thinks ‘If only I could talk to her'
Another guy enters the room, he stopped just in front of the door, met the eye of everyone who looked at him, he waved to some and greeted people as he went in.
The beautiful lady caught his eye. 'oh she looks pretty, lets see if my charm is gonna work on her' he thinks as he went over to her. They started talking and in a little time laughing.
Then at the end of the night, a guy watched as another guy took the beautiful woman to a room. He followed them only to be greeted with moans of erotic pleasure shortly after.
'Why me' a guy thinks as his self-esteem took a downward spiral.
Welcome to reality.
The Myth used to be that intelligence and hardwork gives you everything. Boy, the game has changed.
Now, it's those with the people skills who reign. Social skills get you the promotion, recognition, success and sex partners you want. Hard work will only get you so far when everyone hates your guts or doesn't know you exist.
If you lack the skill? Then you are fucked. Period.
This article will help you get a little bit unfucked.
1. OBSERVE THE RULES
Life runs on cause and effect, and as much as you might like to be yourself in social situations.
Who you are might suck!
It's just like choosing to fish with vegetables when you know the fish wants worms, no matter how long you fish with cabbage, you won't catch a tadpole!
Same thing with people, there are rules to every situation.
In the office, conversation happens by the window, dispenser and eatery, loud noises ain't too good in the cubicle.
In a party however, it's all loud noises and hush tones in the back.
In a meetup, it's a classic approach and make conversation style.
Making loud noises in a meetup or being too quiet in a loud party is just you being a social idiot. And people will hate ya! so kindly observe the rules of every situation you are in and play to it.
2. ARRIVE EARLY
Arriving early is the ultimate cheat! when you come early to an event, you get to meet the host and a few people. This reduces shyness and you are able to talk with these few people.
Then you get to meet others as they come in after you and by the time the event kicks off, you already know a lot of people which makes socializing super easy for you.
3. HI EVERYONE
Nobody remembers the person who entered a room without making any eye contact and who rushes to the back of the room.
To be memorable as you enter any room, make eye contact with people and wave a hand. I'm dead serious, wave a hand even if you don't know the people, just show you acknowledge them.
Then go around greeting people by name if you know them or exchange names as you go.
Just say hello and give your name, they'll give theirs, you can then choose to talk a little or say it's nice meeting them as you move on.
Doing this instantly gets the attention of some people on you and you are easily able to relate with those you have exchanged name with later in the day.
4. POSITIVE BODY LANGUAGE
Ever thought about approaching the frowning guy holding the bottle by the corner? I guess not.
Fact is we all have a scan going on in our heads that judges people as approachable or not.
People skills is not just about the bravery and talking skills, it's also about the reception.
You would suck a lot if your body language is always negative. So try to have a positive body language - smile, open up and relax.
When you open up and smile, you become more receptive and people would love to talk to you and enjoy your company.
5. HANDS HANDS HANDS
When you're talking to a stranger, the last thing you wanna do is pocket your hands.
Sometime when we are evolving, we have been wired to subconsciously interpret hidden hands as a dangerous hand(might just be holding a weapon).
It's all about self preservation here.
Various studies have proven that the most charismatic speakers and storytellers always show and use their hands to punctuate their sentences.
So always show your hands and be dramatic with them a little bit. It makes you appear nonthreatening and more likable.
6. 70% or NOTHING
I can't stress this enough. Eye contact is paramount to your connection with others.
Studies shows that extended eye contact releases oxytocin which helps both conversationalists to relax and bond.
So while it's not entirely sensible to stare at people before you meet them.
As soon as you are in conversation, kindly shower them with your eye contact both when they are taking and listeningFamiliarize yourself with people's eyeballs. Just don't overdo it, keep it to 60-70% of the time.
And if you are a shy baby who just doesn't wanna stare into people's eye, then just stare at the space in between the eye. Works the same.
7. PHONE IN THE POCKET
How do you feel when you are talking with someone and they are pressing their phones? I can bet not too well.
Nobody will like you or want to help you either. We are all egoistic to an extent and want to be respected and if your phone can be more worthy of your attention than us, then fuck you.
8. LEARN FROM FBI
How do FBI get so many spies. It's simple, they research you like crazy and apply to their objective's interests.
You need to start doing this too if you want to influence people. Let's say you are to go to a conference for a deal.
It would be to your best interest to research those people you want to meet before hand. Check their Facebook and LinkedIn account, check their websites and Google them.
For the group, check what they are working on, individual characteristics, particularly their interests etc. This will help you know the topics to discuss with them.
You'll be able to know their interests and play to it to win them over to your side.
9. OBSERVE FOR INTEREST
We all love talking about ourselves, and the way you use this knowledge can save or make your conversations.
We all come from various backgrounds with various life experiences, this means something interesting to me might bore me to pieces.
And conversation is a two way street. Most people fall into a trap by talking extensively on their interests and totally forgetting if the other person wants to listen.
So they bore people. And the last time I remembered, we all hate boring people.
To become socially savvy, you need to observe people's faces every time.
Because when they are talking about their interests, they'll perk up and light up.
When you stumble on their interests too, they'll perk up and harass you with questions. But when they glance around, press their phones or rest their chins on their arms, it means you are a bore.
Change the damn topic stupid!
You just have to be looking to notice these cues.
10. GO OVER
Goes without saying doesn't it?
Who know if a guy would have being laid on that night. I guess we'll never know
....
