I won
I own
m y s e l f
Controversal Opinion: trigger warning.
I think triggers and bullies are good. Which means -- I believe they both have value. The haters are useful and throw out creative solutions; most of them not productive. However, some stick. Some trigger and shock. And I am forced to wrestle with the lingering questions.
I used to be really fragile as a child.
I was not able to say my truth.
This is why HIVE has been such a healing place.
I found an outlet; I found a place where I could write.
e v e r y t h i n g a n d a n y t h i n g :)
The more I put my art forth in the world; the more I internally thought about my truth -- the more I questioned what I was putting out into the world. I asked myself why; and deeply. This is of value, this is why I journal so openly. So this pattern can be shown; healing can be seen a bit more objectively. I feel better about the answers. I now have to the questions they once posed. The resistance released.
I saw the level of respect I had for myself; I respected them. The low level of confidence I saw in the mirror looked like arrogance and childish antics. The constant need for direction and the inability for me to connect in a normal adult fashion. I had deep wounds, and I finally was able to see that. I finally knew what to do about that.
I've been thinking about bullies a lot; from a lot of different perspectives.
What would being famous feel like?
What would the critics feedback feel like when they picked at your every flaw?
Does the spotlight feel hot?
What does intense scrutiny do to a child?
I saw that I had more in common with Paris Hilton than I ever thought possible.
If you've been following along with my story at all; know this is an important topic for mental health. If this is the golden standard -- what does it say about everything below it?
Where there is a whole lot of smoke; is it unreasonable to assume -- fire?
That's why natural medicine activists such as yourselves are so important. If you ever get the chance to watch Paris Hilton's documentary on YouTube -- it talks about what it feels like to be taken. There are some things money doesn't buy.
Look, I don't know how to fix mental health problems. And I am not pretending to know either. I just know these types of programs are not helpful; and let's evaluate how we treat our indigo children. Also -- let's not minimize or rule out trauma just because they don't say anything or "lie all the time". There are reasons behind the behaviors; look for the health.
Look for the seed of health and nuture it.
