Hey everyone. I'm 
Photo by MPD01605 on Flickr[source] (CC BY-SA 2.0).
I am not a violent person.
Or, at least, I like to tell myself that.
I think I can count on my fingers how many times I've punched someone. On one hand, if we're counting the times I did it on purpose.
I try to hold myself to a higher standard than others, and that includes not sounding like a pretentious prick online. (Oops.) No, really; I don't believe that I am better than other people... but I do try to be, and I truly think that if everyone did the same, this world would be a better place.
But we don't live in a better world.
And I'm not better than other people. I'm human, all the same.
That's why, today, I made a mistake.
Some... person... with something to prove, I suppose... had just sped past me en route to the slip road, only to cut in front of me and slow me down as we entered the motorway. When we'd finally merged, I made a move to overtake, in order to resume my previous rate of travel, and all was well for a few moments.
Then, I noticed a familiar object in the rear-view, approaching my rear bumper well within the boundary of safe braking distance. I was happy to maintain my speed and allow them to overtake me, which only seemed to aggravate their inexplicable frustration with my existence.
I then proceeded to watch them offend nearly every other driver on the road. Weaving in and out through traffic. No indicators. Tailgating... and speeding obnoxiously the whole while, which was honestly the best part, because it meant that sooner than later, their loud, annoying, douchey green thing with the spoiler-and-deleted-muffler combo package was over the horizon and out of my sight (and earshot).
My mind drifted off into a fantasy.
I probably should have remained focused on my driving.
I imagined re-encountering the Lime Green Douche-Rocket (LGDR) some ways up ahead, pulled off to the shoulder... lights flashing behind. I would whoosh by at my defiant but not antisocial 10 klicks over. I would look to the side at just the right time and, if the stars aligned, our eyes would meet!
And for an eternal split second, I would feel the blissful karmic high. Revenge.
It didn't happen.
And I'm glad. Really, I am.
I don't believe in government. I think the idea of giving a centralised entity the right to put us in boxes for being naughty is a disgrace. I think stealing people's money at gunpoint is a disgrace. I think telling people how fast they can drive their car, or else you will do one or both of these things to them, is a disgrace. Who are the police? They are the very embodiment of this violence against the people. They are perpetrators of great evil. Their job is one I believe this world would be far better without.
And today, for a moment, I wished that violence upon someone. I imagined the state which I so despise as my personal vehicle for revenge. However quickly I dismissed that fleeting thought; however vehemently I cursed myself in the following seconds, it happened. I am ashamed.
So, to the pilot of the LGDR, wherever you are... I'm sorry I wished the police on you. Hopefully, you'll find yourself in a ditch someday, air bags deployed... and in doing so you'll learn not to be such a wanker. 🍋
How to get an upvote from me today: Tell me about your favourite memory of road rage. Were you in the right? Were you in the wrong? (Pfft. Yeah right.) Or, y'know, surprise me with something else. As always, all engaging comments are welcome.
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