Time to touch on a bit of a controversal topic today, but a relevant one in light of all the recent feminist protests over Donald Trump and his presidency. Most of the time, a woman that is not a feminist is considered crazy by feminist women. I've gotten into debates with feminists before in which they always ask "How can you be a woman and not a feminist?" The definition of feminism that I use is the advocacy of women's rights based on equality of sexes. I don't subsribe to this because women in reality are not equal to men and they probably never will be and I'm fine with that, I don't want to be equal. I'm not saying men are superior, I just ask you to consider the definition of equal. According to the internet equal is used as a noun to describe " a person or thing considered to be the same as another in status or quality". Simply put, we aren't equal and we don't need to be. This idea of equality is a lie, at least as far as people are concerned. My ideal is not to be equal, but to be equally free.
Many will tell you that men and women are wired differently and it's true. There are things that women are naturally superior at, such as creative detail oriented tasks. There are also things that men are superior at, like possessing more physical strength or the natural knack for hunting for food. Differences like this lead to a lack of equality in the world and that's okay. This also leads to a complimentary relationship between humans in which all the bases for life maintenence are covered through healthy relationships, something to be desired in life. There are so many tasks in my life that are left to me just because I'm the better person to handle them and a lot of them have to do with womanly features I possess, like an artistically creative mind or small hands.
The fact that men get paid significantly more than women in physically demanding jobs isn't actually a problem considering the fact that most women aren't able to physically compete. Allow them access to all jobs, but women should understand they don't deserve the same pay unless they put the same work in, and often times we can't. Women today act like there isn't equality in the work place but honestly there is as much as there can be. If you aren't physically able to pull off the same amount of work, you shouldn't be paid the same. The same thing goes for small statured men, if they can't perform just as well they shouldn't be paid the same. I don't give a shit what gender you are, you should get paid in proportion to the amount of value you provide this world.
While we may not be paid as much as men (although this isn't true, in many positions women are paid much more than men if you consider benefits and maternity leave. That and the whole thing that women are paid less has proven to be a myth...), women are granted a lot of non-monetary advantages in life. For example, in a monogamous long term relationship or marriage, often times the woman is at home with the children while the man works to make money to support the household. The role of protection and of supporting the family falls on the man generally, and keeping things running smoothly and children healthy is often times the job of the woman. Another example is with the law, women are generally granted leniency because of their gender.
We have a tendency to get into these roles because we are the best creatures out there for the job, biologically speaking, and it's important to remember that. A life as a housewife or mother can be just as full as a career woman, and many would argue it's more so as it's what we're biologically geared to do. The point of life is to grow, reproduce then die at the end of the day, whether we want to admit it or not.
For whatever reason though women now are being taught that this is bad, that a family marks the end of your free life. I was raised by women pretty influenced by the feminist movement and many of them had an "I don't need a man" attitude, while simultaneously chasing after various men. My aunt for example always talked about her independance, but at the end of the day she was still biologically craving a relationship and a family, so much so that she jumped into it with the wrong person as many do. For her, it didn't work out as she lost her baby. She's now too old to reasonably have kids and she waited a long time as a consequence of her independancy. She was so hell bent on being independant she forgot about her dream to be a mother and missed her chance.
It was a contradiction big enough to make your head spin but it's seriously common in the states especially. Women are taught to be strong, independant but sexual beings. Many don't have kids but lots still do, taking on the life of a single mother. This leads to disconnected families, which leads to a society like what we are experiencing now. That and government influence has a huge effect as well.
I tend to mistrust any movement when I notice distinct government influnce and help. This seems to be heavy within the feminist movement as the government has damn good motive to free the women. Why would they want them freed? Until women started rallying for "equal" rights, they were an untaxed half of the population. They didn't have say in the law, but they also weren't technically property of the government because of that fact. The government couldn't tax them for income if they weren't going to work, so supporting (or even starting movements, though I've no evidence of that, just suspicions) a movement that essentially gets women out of the house and into the workplace so they can pay taxes, just like the men makes sense as a political move.
Many understand that the schooling system in the United States was based off of a prussian system meant to breed obedient worker bees and soldiers. For those that don't, look into School Sucks Project and Tragedy and Hope Podcast for more in-depth information, both sources are huge referenced volumes of information in regards to the history of schooling as we know it and true education.
I've not got the specific references (save for the two alternative media sources I mentioned above, who will provide you with the resources if you look), but there have been links between funders of the feminist movement and those who fund the schools. I remember there being a very strong feminist influence in school. The women teachers were always considered to be better, as were the female students. I remember being in a class once where I was the only female and the teacher treated me way better because of my gender and that was it, which offended me and everyone else in the class. Men had to work hard to be respected and they generally only were when they were a certain way, which honestly was not very masculine at all.
Schools teach strong feminist ideals and are funded by the same people that fund the feminist movement. As an anarchist, I've got a tough time with feminism because of this. Why would the same people that fund our brainwashing school system fund the feminist movement? It breaks up the family and puts the children in the control of the state, in schools and the like which helps them to keep control of the population. For reasons like this, I've got a deep seated mistrust of the feminist movement as a whole.
There's an interesting paradox that is breeding an interesting sort of male figure within our society. One one hand we want the gentleman, the romantic, but we also want them to be equal to us, almost woman like. We expect them to abandon the aspects that make them who they are, sometimes even forcing them into the positions we are meant to fill in life. By this, I refer to stay at home dads, the men who stay home with the family while the woman provides, something that almost always leads to a bad relationship dynamic. I was looking around online about this stuff today and someone made the comment along the lines of "we just want guy versions of ourselves" and it's true. Aggression, strength and many other masculine traits are often supressed in our society as men have gotten a bad rap due to the feminist movement. In feminism, men are the oppressors and the enemy, which leads to a bad dynamic.
This bad rap is leading to a country of children raised without fathers, due to several different influences. One of the biggest is that government aid has made it so a father is not necessary, for anything other than sperm donation. In reality, this isn't true, but it appears to the surface to the mother that they don't need men for their primary role, protection and support, as the state supposedly provides that for them. This has led to an interesting dynamic, more mothers are ending up single than not at this point. As a result, many fathers don't stick around. Many of the ones that do have issues living and functioning as a man in a society where women have demonized them.
Many fathers now feel uncomfortable being affectionate with their daughters because they don't want anyone to get any weird ideas. In a world of pedophiles, the average father is too afraid to show his daughter affection because he doesn't want to be looked at weird. How wrong is that? I remember my own childhood where my father was pointedly not affectionate with me, I look back with different eyes maybe wondering if he might not have had some of these feelings himself. This leads to a child, and later an adult, that is put off by physical connection which is honestly not desireable, considering it's something I deal with myself. I can't help but think the effect of feminism on this world has something to do with it. It seems like men are thought of as such predators, that an affectionate father can be thought of as something to worry about.
Kids need both parents to develop naturally and healthily. The kids with behavorial emotional and health problems are often missing one or both of their parents, studies prove this at this point. There have been studies proving the science behind mirror neurons, meaning you learn how to use your body and live your life by mimicing your natural born, that is your biological parents. Mirror neurons are only activated by your biological parents, so children that are adopted experience difficulties because of the lack of biological parent contact.
So while women can certainly live without men, they really shouldn't want to if they have children. Women who pursue the single mother lifestyle are depriving their kids of imporant developmental help. I don't suggest single mothers stay with abusive partners, but I alsosuggest women shouldn't have children with abusive partners in the first place. If you're a woman seriously considering having children, you need to seriously consider your relationship as well as it's essential for the proper mental and emotional development of your child.
Another issue I have with the feminist movement's approach is the overwhelming use of emotionally based arguments. Since I've learned about logical fallacies, emotionally based arguments have rubbed me wrong, as they're considered to be logical fallacies. They are arguments from emotion, not reason, and emotion isn't always correct. For example, many feminists will talk about cultures in Africa that mutilate female genetalia for various reasons. I've heard so many feminists that say "I cry and fight for the women in Africa with mutilated genitals." What about all the male babies every year that are mutilated in a similar fashion based off of a pedophiliac religious tradition? There's a huge double standard that is seemingly ignored.
I've got no issue with women having rights, that's not the issue here. I believe men and women should have all the same basic rights, anything beyond that in favor of either sex is wrong. No one should have any more rights than another in regards to something just due to their gender, something they've got no control over. A lot of the time what many in the feminist movement argue for is equality in fields where there shouldn't be and naturally isn't. Not only that, many women are living their lives according to feminist ideals that are actually inherently against women at the end of the day.
Again, I've got no issue with equal rights, but a lot of times feminists who also happen to be statists use feminism and it's ideals as a means to control the system. The court system generally favors a mother in a custody case, regardless of if she is fit to parent at that time. I've personally experienced this myself, and it's damaging to the children more than anything else. This is the sort of behavoir that keeps the problems in our society going. A lot of the time, women use their rights to have control over their bodies as a means to get their contraception paid for. It's so misguided in so many ways I really can't even begin to get into all of them here. I understand that not all feminists are this way, but the movement as a whole has bred this sort of mindset regardless of if it indended to do so or not.
In light of the recent feminist protests, I thought something needed said. As a woman, I stand against most feminists because I see the true effects of the movement. Women have been swindled into believing that they are bettering the world through their efforts, when most of the time they are really only alienating men in the process. The idea is not to push men down to pick ourseves up. What we should be striving for is a respect for eachother and the qualities we hold biologically speaking.
Equality is not desired, for me anyway. Equality breeds societies like the ones outlined in Ayn Rand's Anthem, do we really all want to be the same? What we should want is to have an equal level of freedom. Only then can women truly be free to flourish to their fullest potential, to prove where they stand against men in reality which is much closer to equal than the feminists would have you think. We aren't the same, men do have distinct advantages over us, but we have our own advantages over them. By removing the rights of men and breaking them down emotionally as our society has been geared to do, we make the problems we face worse, not better. We breed men that resent and disrespect women as we see today.
If you want a society full of respectful men, we've got to start by being respectful women. Remember that you're not equal and that's a good thing. Your significant other may be better at physical tasks than you, but there's probably something you're way better at then him. While I'm more masculine in my interests than most, I don't have much interest in being a construction worker or something like that. Feminism tells me I should go for it just because it's a boys task, my mind tells me not to because it's not for me. So follow your gut, be proud of your womanly skills instead of worrying about possessing manly skills. I'm more masculine than most in many ways, but I respect the fact that I'm a woman and it shows with how I interact with the world and people around me.
Thanks for reading :)