It's not very often that Patriot get's sad.
But today, he is...
(Note: this is very different from being sad of course - He's definitely a saddo, but that's a different subject altogether ).
In fact, in the 5 years I've known him he's pretty annoyingly happy.
All the bloody time!
It does get me down sometimes, all that the continual happiness and optimism.
'Take a break, why don't ya? ', I say to him, but nooooo....smile, smile, smile, bloody smile...
All those smiles and that boundless enthusiasm, my god...give it a rest.
Oh, I was here to cheer him up, wasn't I?
....It seems that I've already ended up just kicking him in the balls, poor thing.
Note to self : Must try harder. (My natural temperament just keeps shining through...)
What's a girl to do?
OK, pull it together, girl - It's 'Cheering up Patriot', time!
My options so far, seem to be...
1/Give him my profile for the day, so he can keep posting without using up all his rapidly depleting RC's?
2/Give him sex all day, anytime he likes, and anything he wants?
3/ Same as option 2, but I can get my girlfriend to join us, also?
(It's a lot less less work for me, and at least I'll have someone to talk to.)
4/ Kick him in the balls continually, until he snaps out of his bad mood, with screams...
I think he would prefer option 1.
He's still recovering from last nights party, bless - the old git, so option 2 might not be too appealing. Saying that, option 3 might give him an energy boost.
Leggy 28 year olds, do seem to have that effect on him... (and I'll have someone to talk to...)
Option 4 is an attractive proposition....Kicking him in the balls is my personal favorite, but it's not about me today.
I'm so confused. And in bad mood myself.
He hasn't even brought me a coffee today, ffs! (that deserves a kick in the balls, all by itself).
Maybe a few kicks in the balls , now - with a promise of a threesome later?
Although doing that, might mean that he's not be in the mood for the threesome, not if his balls are the size of pineapples...(as they will be, if I do a good job with the kicking).
No, that plan is just too damn risky.
That might not cheer him up, at all.
I suppose I could just ask him which he prefers....mmmm .... no... not now that I think about it. It would be just weird asking him what he wants.
I've never done it before, and I don't think it's a good idea to start now, just because he sad.
It's sets a dangerous precedent.
Who knows he might start expecting me to ask him what he wants.
Oh no...no.... that's not a good idea, not good at all.
I might give him the options, so he actually thinks that he's making the decision.
I do that all the time.
He likes to think he's in charge, bless him. ( I never let it go to his head, though oh no. I get far too little sleep if he starts thinking that he's really in charge.. A swift kick in the balls generally remedies any notions of grandeur).
We have a saying here, a wise old proverb :
'Give a man a long enough leash and thinks he's free, but put him on a short one and your left with an annoying mess to clean up, when he chokes himself.'
So, I'm asking steemit comedyopenmic - what should I do?
(Patriot tells me just how sad you lot really are, so you might be able me, to see it from his perspective, and give me some advice).
If anyone from 
....WHATS A GIRL TO DO...?
I think I have to nominate people and I just asked patriot who are the saddest people he knows on here....
So I nominate 
