Since the birth of my son just over three months ago I cannot begin to count all the ways my life has changed. Being a parent adds so much richness to my life. I see my partner as a whole person. I look into my child's eyes and sometimes the tears just well up. Moments of joy overwhelm me and take me to my knees, or just hold me captive, gazes locked, with this little human being. It's amazing. I think of how hard it is for single parents. I could not imagine doing this alone. I feel that our babies bring out the best in us. They help us overcome whatever challenges because we have to, for them. It's kind of funny in our situation.
As we remodel this huge old house, hardly with two pennies to rub together, a wood burning stove, collecting firewood from the fallen trees in our sparsely populated neighborhood, me making bread and three square meals a day, I would say we live a rather monastic lifestyle. Our child, with all his wonderful coos and smiles, how beautiful he is when he's asleep or observing, has elevated our being. We listen to classical music during the day, Irish music in the evening, as well as Prairie Home Companion, dance around in front of the fire. This upcoming week we'll be installing the toilet and bathtub upstairs. I have monies still from the baby shower and will be purchasing monitors as well.
The little white baby bassinet that my grandmother slept in and has been passed all throughout my mother's side of the family, and my boy has nearly outgrown it in three months, will be 88 years old this year. So the boy will be going to his room instead of sharing a room with us anymore.
Houses and buildings are getting torn down all around us. Fires, demolitions of long abandoned homes being hauled away in large dumpsters, "progress" is creeping closer. I'm planning for spring planting. The tractor needs some mechanic work. It'll be fun having the boy in a papoose as we till the earth and get it ready for crops and flowers. All the things we plan for, the desires of our hearts, the visions of the future, become all about a small boy and his involvement and I am truly grateful.
