Like a lot of people, I have been trying to find my feet on Steemit. I see those succeeding, and I have tried, superficially, to emulate what they are doing. I am trying to find a “niche”, and this has seen me blog on animals, films, my cats (I am still embarrassed about that), human nature, weather, words, people, guns (just don’t do it, gun lovers are impossible to talk to), marijuana, video games, life…the list goes on and on, and I am nowhere near finding a consistent topic to blog about.
Most of my work has sunk without a trace, and this is entirely typical of a blogging site where dozens of blogs are posted every hour. I am new, and don’t have much of a following. The blogs that haven’t disappeared immediately into the ether(net) have had an impact because they have been given a hand up by an influential poster. I am truly grateful for their generosity, but it does give me the feeling that it doesn’t matter too much what I am writing. If I don’t get that hand up, my blogs will be seen by a handful of people. And I am not sure what to do about this.
I do comment on other posts, but if I am being frank, I am struggling to find posts to really engage with. This is because I am a political animal, and this platform tends to avoid much political discourse. There is some, but what I have seen has been dreadful, by and large. Ignorant, boorish, aggressive ranting that I wouldn’t touch with a bargepole.
I did get involved with a gun debate, and for a while, it went quite well. I had to work really hard to be civil, because the OP annoyed the bejesus out of me, but civil I was. And then I woke up to a veritable torrent of abuse from the OP, who downvoted me, boasted about it, and then went on to write an appallingly self-indulgent blog about how he had to downvote someone for the good of Steemit. It was freaky, and exactly the sort of trouble I get in all the time. I absolutely did not deserve this nonsense, but I have this terrible habit of pushing a certain type of person’s buttons.
As it was, we sorted it out, and I even got an apology (of sorts – it was a I’m-sorry-that-your-post-made-me-have-to-do-that-kinda-thing), but it brought into question the nature of downvoting on here. And because of that, I allowed this shitty behaviour to happen, rather than defend my position as I would have liked. Well, fuck that.
On one level, the downvoting has the effect of self-moderating the site. It is very clever in that respect, and a stroke of genius from the originators of Steemit. It means that they don’t have to employ moderators*, because if someone behaves badly, they will be dealt with by the collective that is Steemit. And that is great if someone is really being an asshole.
However, on another level, it is open to abuse. What happened to me was insignificant. I am sure it set my rep score back very slightly, but in the grand scheme of my Steemit career, it made little difference, and it was a price I was happy to pay to learn a lesson, even if I am still not 100% sure what lesson I learned.
I have seen other things going on though. There is a lot of internal politics on this site, bubbling under. I don’t pretend to understand a lot of this stuff, and I wouldn’t go near it because as a rule, I don't like to wear my ignorance as a badge of honour, but I have seen some posters with reputation scores of minus 18, and this has clearly happened because they have annoyed a powerful pack of people on here. I have read their posts, and they are clearly deliberately poking the hornet’s nest, but they didn’t seem to be behaving badly. They were certainly not abusive or uncivil. And all I could conclude was that it wasn’t how they were saying something that got them into trouble; it was what they were saying (I probably have to put in the caveat though that there could have been more going on then meets the eye).
This begs the question: are people right to downvote someone because they don’t like what they are saying? No, is the obvious answer, in case you thought I was being rhetorical.
I have a very distinct sense of what is right and wrong. It gets me into trouble all the time. All the time. Having this sense doesn’t necessarily make me correct, you understand. I am as fallible as anyone, but once this sense locks in with me, I struggle to walk away, even if I know I am going to lose. It’s a shitty trait, if I am being honest; I would rather not be like this. But at 48, I have concluded that I am what I am.
And the nature of this website has left me feeling neutered and impotent since day one. I have been afraid to express certain opinions, for fear of falling foul of the wrong type of poster with a higher rep score than me.
I realise it sounds like I am complaining; I can assure you I am not. I have had a little epiphany, and I feel the urge to develop it.
I love the idea of Steemit. I love the idea that there is this creative collective of people who can get together and share ideas and content, and share the success that this brings. But the financial side of this has given rise to a particular dynamic that can make it difficult for a lone voice to make an impact. Auto-voting is great when you are guaranteed to get some upvotes, but it does call into question the actual value of these votes. It makes it an odd popularity contest where the quality of the content is not the most important thing. And it absolutely should be, shouldn’t it?
Anyway, I have reached a conclusion: I have to be me.
I have been doing this internet thing for nearly twenty years, and I have learned the hard way how to express myself in a decent, civil manner. I have made many mistakes, and have posted many times in anger and shown myself up. It can be difficult not to, but I have learned to take a deep breath and walk away if I am in danger of misbehaving. I will also back down, re-appraise my position and change my opinion if I am convinced to do so. I will happily apologise if I have crossed a line.
I genuinely believe that this platform is the future of the internet. Facebook and Twitter are often angry, seething vortexes, with users spewing bile and hatred from behind their screens.
I have realised that although I can adapt, I can’t adapt enough to be successful on here and still be me with the parameters that this website appears to impose on its users.
So I am going to be me and see what happens.
*I feel I should acknowledge the sterling efforts of users like 
Memes courtesy of these guys.