Getting married in normal Igbo home in Nigeria is a great deal to be discussed.
A white man once wanted to marry my sister and the protocols and do and donts were just too much.
First of all there is sonething we call "iku aka na uzo",simply meaning to knock on the door.This is the first time the aspiring husband comes for the first time to indicate his intensions known to the girls family.He comes with atleast two people who must be older and preferably men.Which signifies strength and strong willpower.Usually in homes where there are more than one girl in the house all are called out so he can point at the one that caught his interest.
Then still on that day the lady to be married is asked a very important question," this man has come to marry you should we accept his drinks",after a yes answer then there is shouting and jubliation.Here one think it is done bit it is far from being over.
A list is handed to the man,a list containg all he is to buy which includes the brideprice,which most times are usually unnessarily too much.If you getting married to "ada" meaning first daughter,the list is usually bigger.If she is a graduate the list futher increases.
This list is divided into two categories the one for the women and the ones for the men.If the man doesnt have much it is going to be very big problem especially if u are marrying from my community.
On the given day the man comes with all he has been asked and presents to her village men and women,only then is he called our son.
The traditional marriage ceremony is another deal to be discussed.It occurs in the girl's family home.Guests are invited to witness the occasion.
On the day,a very unique event happens,The father of the bride hands the bride a cup of palmwine,that's a drink from palm trees.She is asked to look for her husband who is well hidden in the crowd,give him the drink and bring him to her father.
As she dances with the drink in her hands looking for her husband,young eligible men try to persuade her to give them the drink. She ignores them all till she finds her husband, then she kneels before him and presents the drink to him.He receives the drink gives her some and drinks the remaining.
Hand in hand they dance to the father of the bride,where they kneel before him and he renders blessings and well wishes on them .
Then they are fully married in the Nigerian way.
