--Writen By Blogger Morshad Sharif-
In the modern world, divorce is becoming a common issue, just look at the disheartening statistics to realize that. At the same time, everyone dreams of building a happy union and living with their partner in love and harmony for many years.
Genial.guru gathered advice from psychotherapists and divorced people, to know how to avoid mistakes and save a marriage.
- Mutual respect
A harmonious conjugal union is based on mutual respect. Even when you are very angry with your partner, express your feelings with respect.
Respect allows you to put an end to situations when one of the partners seems to be trying to manipulate your partner or bid your position.
- Do not compare your partner with others
Pity yourself and your relationship, do not compare your average partner with your friends, and especially not with strangers on Instagram or other social networks.
Remember that, many times, others do not convey a real image, but a desired one of their life and their relationships. So we do not know for sure if the husbands of other women surround them with rose petals every day, take them to elegant restaurants, or give them fur coats. And even if it is, that does not mean that these couples are happy.
- Take care of your body
Never stop taking care of yourself. Family happiness also depends on sexual relationships. And they, many times, are based on attractiveness.
Take care of your body. Give up worn pants, dirty coats and old slippers. Say yes to a slender physique and house clothes in good condition. This applies to both men and women.
- First your partner, then your children
Fatherhood requires us to care for children selflessly, but it will be a mistake to sacrifice our marriage in the mission of being parents. First of all, the world should not revolve exclusively around children, and secondly, do not forget that family begins in a couple.
In addition, children sooner or later grow up and leave the parents' nest. And it only depends on you what will remain: a very dear person with whom you share a common history, or a broken marriage.
- Forgive
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. In any relationship, peers can misinterpret and hurt each other. If the spouses do not know how to forgive, over time the relationship will collapse under the burden of accumulated grievances.
- Do not try to change your partner
It is a common mistake to think that you can change your spouse. Everyone has their faults, and it is almost impossible to reshape someone to fully correspond with your ideas about the ideal partner.
The things you do not even have to try to change in your partner include bad habits, religious beliefs, relationships with your parents and hobbies. What is worth doing is creating new family customs and traditions that please both.
It is a common mistake to think that you can change your spouse. Everyone has their faults, and it is almost impossible to reshape someone to fully correspond with your ideas about the ideal partner.
The things you do not even have to try to change in your partner include bad habits, religious beliefs, relationships with your parents and hobbies. What is worth doing is creating new family customs and traditions that please both.
Avoid phrases such as: "If this continues, I will leave you", and never say the word "divorce". If you are going to pronounce it, then prepare to go to the civil registry and to the separation of goods, do not do it if then you are going to get on your knees saying "I did not mean that".
Such phrases uttered in the heat of the moment are not forgotten even after reconciliation, which increases the risk of separation.
- Control your anger
Try telling yourself to "stop" whenever you want to tell your loved one an insulting word. If you feel you can not control yourself, take a breath. Just do not use it as a manipulation, punishing your partner with isolation. Tell him you'll go back to the conversation when you calm down and, of course, keep your word.
- Never say bad things about your partner
Never say bad things about your partner to third parties. You know, neither your mom, nor your friends. Their fight will pass, they will forget everything and they will be forgiven, but the members of your close circle will remember it forever. Your partner will still be bad before your eyes and will have negative feelings towards her.
If you are about to explode, first of all, talk heart to heart with your spouse. If you have to share your problems with someone else, call your psychologist.
- Learn the language of your partner's love
Each one of us has his love language, and yours is different from your partner's. Perhaps for him, a manifestation of affection is praise and words of support, or perhaps a mime or a care, a help or material gifts. Whatever your language of love, learn it and use it.